Married to the Alien Mountain Man (Cowboy Colony Mail-Order Brides, #5)

by Ursa Dax

Wife. Even simply saying the word out loud was enough to make my heart feel delightfully lopsided in my chest.

It might be a weight I carried alone for a long, long time.

But she was just so beautiful, standing there with her weapon aimed right at my face, that I found I could not fault her.

“Oaken. You are a terrible liar.” I gave him a sheepish smile and flicked my tail. “Forgive me, Warden. It is not a skill I have ever needed to practise before.”

Did I say there was something wrong with him? I take it back. This is the best alien murderer with a possible concussion that I’ve ever met. I love you, you weird, mouse-eared, dark-haired, jolly green stranger!

I had little to offer her but the weight of the metal ring in my hand.

“My name is Oaken,” I told her in gentle tones. “I may be a prisoner of this world, but every day I try my best to be a decent sort of man. I may not have many credits to my name. I may not have parts for your ship. But I have walls to put around you. Food on my table to share with you. I can’t give you much. But I can give you a place here. And I can give you time. The time you need.”

Why do i want to cry rn?! He is too sweet

I certainly wasn’t holding my breath so that my impolite exhalations would not shift a single strand of her hair because I hated to change even a tiny thing about her.

And all at once, I was more myself than I had ever been. Because her laugh was an achingly beautiful sound. And that sound was calling me home.

I was ninety-nine percent sure the guy was a weirdo. I was one hundred percent sure that he was also a total sweetheart.

Why was I getting this embarrassingly aroused from a kiss?

That is a hot freaking kiss! Im getting aroused gurl!

And below that tail… Was possibly the best butt I’d seen this side of the galaxy. Or in any galaxy, really.

What the hell was Oaken talking about booty-cakes for when the man was stacked with his own damn bakery back there?

“The human kiss,” he said, “is very powerful. In one moment, it can change the entire course of a man’s life.”

I didn’t even need to touch myself.

Well damn. Blushing.

It’s simply in his nature to put others before himself. He’s got more heart than sense, that one.”

“He is looking at her the way that Garrek looks at you!” he growled. “His eyes are white! And his eyes are never white!”

“Every time I’m away from you for more than a few moments,” Oaken went on, “I worry that you won’t still be there when I come back.”

Oh sweet man

I was merely in danger of ejaculating untouched for the second time today. Not that I would tell her that.

Perhaps, if she leaned in close enough, one of those lovely bumps might even hit me in the face… A man could hope.

It was poignant, and more than a little painful, to think about how the agonies of our lives, the disasters that have the power to throw everything into chaos, could also, one day, put us on the path to something good.

I was very glad I could play some small part in keeping that ship in her life. Even if that very ship would be the thing to carry her away from me one day.

“I can walk on my own, Oaken,” I protested drowsily. “I know,” he murmured against my hair. And then, in the last moments before I fell asleep, he softly added, “But you don’t have to. Not while you’ve got me.”

“And I like that you gave her your socks.”

It was as if he was some sort of helpful green fairy flitting about unseen, doing kind things for me while I slept.

Somehow, this seemed even more significant than being her husband. Because marriage was something I’d simply offered her. Her friendship was something I’d earned.

But I could not offer her anything as remarkable as this. My ranch was not a ship. And I was not her fate.

As far as I am concerned, he may sleep as close to the Lavariya as he likes.”

You tell her!

“I’m sure,” he said gently, “that there are a great many things that I should wish I hadn’t done. Marrying you isn’t one of them.”

“I think you are beautiful. And I would very much like to perform cunni-linguine on you.”

“You should sleep in your bed,” I told him, the same way I’d told him every night. I expected him to mumble one of his usual replies to that. But instead, he looked at me with white, laser-like eyes and growled, “You should sleep in my bed.”

If I ever got reincarnated, it was not going to be as something fun. I’d probably come back as some kind of dung-eating beetle. Or a bot, like Lala, bound by her programming to serve a pilot as annoying as me.

How could he be so sexy and so adorable at the same time? My heart was going to explode. Literally explode. Into glitter or confetti or sprinkles or something.

“My loins,” he repeated thickly. “They are activated.”

But… What the hell was I supposed to do?! The man’s loins were activated! I couldn’t leave him hanging with activated loins! That would just be cruel!

Frankly, right now, I wanted to suck his fucking soul out through his dick.

Yes girl!

“I’m going to give you a blow job. If that’s alright with you.”

Sneaky Tasha. Making sure the cowboys were more educated on eating pussy than they were on getting their dicks sucked. What a most excellent human-Zabrian liaison. Truly, an ally to all womankind.

“Oaken,” I croaked, my pussy still trying its darndest to milk the man’s tongue. “Did you just come… in your hat?”

Bliss. Utter, intoxicating bliss.

“Brown,” I whispered.

“I want to tell you anything you want to know. I want to give you everything I have to give. All of me. Even the bad bits.”

“I worry,” he said, stepping in close behind me. So close that I felt the heat of his chest through the shirt on my back. “I worry that… That you might get blisters one day, out on some other world without me. And I won’t be there to carry you home when you do.”

“There isn’t going to be a ‘next wife,’ Jaya.”

Oh man. Im crying