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“Then … I don’t know. Scowl at him a bunch. Give him the evil eye.” “I do not scowl.” “And I’m not a former fuckboy. This game is fun.”
Perhaps he’s ranting about gay people in hockey multiplying, and it’s all Ezra’s fault.
“Hey, you’re driving, and I’m not holding a gun to your head. You keep running away from me, and all I want to do is clear the air.” “You want clean air? Is this going to be you trying to get me to join fight on global warming?” I shake my head. “Still a smart-ass, I see.” “Yes. My ass is very smart.”
“I don’t hate you. My issue with you was …” He averts his gaze. “The complete opposite of hating you.” Wait, what?
It is dangerous to say this in public, but my options were to drive us to a deserted underground parking lot or here, and for some reason, Americans get edgy in dark places.
“Because I see the way you look at me, Novi. It’s the exact same way I look at you.”
“Whatever you’re thinking,” he says, “it’s not a good idea.” I huff because my wild train of thought derailed somewhere around hooking up with Novi. “Actually, if you knew what I was thinking, you’d assume there was something wrong with me.” “I don’t kink shame.”
“You’re still the same old Novi. You act tough and joke about being a delightful ray of sunshine, but the truth is, you’re not joking at all. Deep down, you’re a gentle sweetheart who wants to be loved for who he is.”
“It was special because it was with you.” Damn, if that’s not the most perfect thing he could’ve said.
I’ve typed out lots of social media posts that ranged from I have struggled for so long and now it’s time to live my truth to I’m gay bitchesssss dick dick diiiiick and deleted them all.
“What should I do?” “Taunt him until he shoves you up against a wall and takes you there and then?” I’m concerned by how easily that came to him. “That is not a thing that would ever work.” “Ah, yeah, never,” Anton mutters somewhere in the background.
“I have thought about it.” “That wasn’t long enough.” “Yes it was, because the answer is simple. I want you. I want you now. And if I have to face the reality I’ve been hiding from for the last seventeen years to have you, then I will. Because I didn’t let this happen once before, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”
All that matters is that when I open my eyes again and meet Novi’s gaze, he’s smiling in a way I’ve never seen him smile before. It’s official. I’m claiming it. That smile belongs to me.
“I deserve to exist too, even if in secret,” I force out. “Jesus, Novi.” Turkey grabs my shoulder and pulls me into an aggressive hug. He squeezes me tight, not caring he showered and I stink like a dog. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’ve got your back, brother. Always.”
“Wear two pairs of socks. Condoms for your feet.” The things this guy says, I swear to God. “Feet condoms. Got it.”
“You think I won’t be good dad?” Novi asks. I shake my head. “Not at all. I was thinking that any kid would be lucky to have you for a father.” And that I would love to be there to see it happen. But that’s getting ahead of ourselves.
“You cannot tell people Novi has a gay stick,” Colby says. “Rainbow rod?” “Nope.” Ezra’s eyes squint up. “Magic unicorn staff?”
“Colby? Have power over me? But he’s like a cute polar bear, and I am the puppy following him around.” Colby squeezes my thigh. “That metaphor doesn’t make the point that you think it does.” I still don’t see the problem.