More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
Not when the first out dudes in the NHL only came out last season. While it gave me hope that I could be an out player at some point, Caleb Sorensen and Ollie Strömberg are far from rookies.
Omg Soren and Stromberg’s story was 18 years ago in the timeline?! Omg.
Saying “you’re putting too much pressure on your old knees when you change directions on the ice” is totally one hundred percent professional … ish. “I don’t speak English, and I’m not fucking old” was a much more unprofessional response in my opinion.
“I don’t see a difference.” He really is stubborn. “But hypothetically, how would someone fix that?”
“So why isn’t it working anymore?” Because roughly five months ago, Westly Dalton reminded me that Colby Kessinger exists.
“Because I see the way you look at me, Novi. It’s the exact same way I look at you.”
All that’s running through my mind at the moment is this is our chance, and my brain won’t let go of that. Even if I know it’s better for both of us if we don’t follow through on this.
“You’re still the same old Novi. You act tough and joke about being a delightful ray of sunshine, but the truth is, you’re not joking at all. Deep down, you’re a gentle sweetheart who wants to be loved for who he is.”
If he doesn’t know what he’s saying, he’s adorable. If he knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s sadistic.
He looks back up at me, and when his gray eyes meet mine, I decide they might be my favorite color I have ever seen.
Kissing Colby might be better than hockey.
“Years …” he says, a hitch in his voice. “I’ve pictured that night going like this for years.” “Me too,” I admit, voice hoarse. “So show me the rest of your fantasy.”
it’s only another reminder of why this was wrong but totally inevitable.
And to think I’m the only man he’s ever kissed? The only one he trusted enough or wanted enough? Maybe losing my job might be worth holding that title.
“It was special because it was with you.”
Me: I should keep my distance from Novi and only see him in a professional manner. Also me: Want me to bring food to your house all because you messaged me the equivalent of a booty call text?
“I have thought about it.” “That wasn’t long enough.” “Yes it was, because the answer is simple. I want you. I want you now. And if I have to face the reality I’ve been hiding from for the last seventeen years to have you, then I will. Because I didn’t let this happen once before, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”
It’s official. I’m claiming it. That smile belongs to me.
We will be smart because we have to be. And when it’s time, we will be everything else.
“I deserve to exist too, even if in secret,” I force out.
“I should be flattered that you went to such lengths to see me, but you’re being reckless again.” “Not reckless. Romantic.” “I don’t think you understand what that means in English.” “Locking you in a room so I can kiss you without you getting away is not romantic?”
Stress can also lead to heart attacks. I don’t want him to have a heart attack. I need his heart. I’m going to win it one day.
When I jog up to his front door, his car is in the driveway, and all the lights are off. He is going to be blown away by my thoughtfulness. I use the key I snuck from his bag earlier—they really should lock that coaches’ office—and make my way inside. He does not even have an alarm system. I will have to talk to him about that; anyone could sneak up on him.
He jumps a foot in the air when he sees me. “Novi? What the fuck?” He dramatically clutches at his chest. “Is it stress? Are you having a heart attack?” He watches me with wide eyes. “I don’t think stress is the reason my soul almost left my body.” “Then what is it?” “You scared the shit out of me!” I frown. “Me?” “You’re in my house. Creeping around in the dark.” Oh good, he noticed. “Romantic, da?”
“I have missed you. The friend I used to have. I don’t like not being able to spend time with you. So I came to sweep you off your feet and kidnap you.” “Aww …” He steps right toward me, teasing creases by his eyes. “That was very nearly romantic until you brought felonies into it.”
“Oh no. Don’t take away breaking into my apartment and dragging me out in the middle of the night.” “I feel like this is American sarcasm, but then I remember how much you want me, and I am mistaken.”
He might be unfit on the ice these days, but he hasn’t lost that butt.
What we have is risky and fragile and has the potential to blow up in our faces, but it’s also worth it. Worth every minute waiting and worth all the sacrifices I’ve had to make to get there. I only hope that when it comes to it, when reality pierces our bubble of hope, Colby will think I’m worth the same.
If things ever come down to Colby or hockey again … I’ll choose him.
“This isn’t a date if that’s what you’re asking.” He laughs. “Didn’t even cross my mind. I was thinking more along the lines of you wanting something with a certain person because you have history, but you also can’t go there because you’re his coach, and that would cross a lot of lines, so you reached out to the PR manager who fucked his hockey player and got fired because of it.” I blink at him. “Okay, you’re good. I’ll give you that.”
Now I know why the Collective say Lane has Daddy vibes.
I’m a very proud uncle, and one day, Colby will also be the uncle to my gremlins as well. Even if they do still scare him.
“I’m not asking you. I’m letting you know, out of respect, that I have feelings for Coach Kessinger. I am going to ask him out.” “He’ll say no.” “Then I will ask him out again. And again. And again—” “Novi, you need to stop talking before you end up sounding like a walking harassment charge.”
unfortunately, I’ve been curious about the man I half fell in love with seventeen years ago.”
“You two better get married to make this migraine worth it,” as he leaves. Novi looks triumphant. “Who knew GM was a romantic?”
