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It’s hilarious. Only, I laugh on the inside so they don’t see I have a big sense of humor. I’m really a puppy.
“He knows. He remembers. You need to talk to him.” That’s the last thing I want to do. Two years. That’s all I need to get through before I can hide out from everyone. Where I can make sure people forget about Radimir Novicov. “I don’t want to.” “Then … I don’t know. Scowl at him a bunch. Give him the evil eye.” “I do not scowl.” “And I’m not a former fuckboy. This game is fun.”
Novi stares at me expectantly, and for a moment, I begin to suspect he mixes up English phrases on purpose. For entertainment. I wouldn’t put it past him. “Where are you off to?” I ask him, cautiously moving closer. “Bed.” “But not because you’re old.” “I am young and beautiful. Very energetic. Lots of stamina.” And this is why I can’t interact with him. If he doesn’t know what he’s saying, he’s adorable. If he knows exactly what he’s doing, he’s sadistic.
It’s one thing to be the only one out there; it’s another when I’m part of a group. There will still be speculation, considering how against this I’ve been in the past, but it’s a start. What straight men don’t realize most of the time is that it’s literally that easy for them. No overthinking. No questioning every choice.
It’s a word. An action. An adjustment to their belief. With something so easy, they’ve not only made me feel safe but human. I wish everyone understood the impact they could have by doing so little.
The others get back, and Lane straightens as Ezra walks up and stands beside him. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at Lane in a way that looks unhinged. “Well, well, well,” Anton says, walking in behind Oskar. “We had no idea you had it in you, Lane.” “Didn’t you?” Lane only downs his neglected drink. “I guess you’re all forgetting that Oskar proposed to me.”
He makes me feel invincible because I know I will always have his support, so I want to give him the same. I want us to be a power couple. The greatest that ever was.
My Colby will have everything he wants. Because why is he so sure that he will be the one fired? Maybe it will be me. It should be me. The certainty hits fast and hard because, let’s face it, I have lived my dreams. I’ve had the chance to experience all I ever wanted, and now it’s Colby’s turn. It has to be. I won’t settle for him being happy with a consolation prize. Radimir Novicov doesn’t settle, and neither will his future husband.
Normally I face everything with confidence, but I don’t think I’ve ever been so personally invested in something before. If I screw this up, it’s not only me who will be affected. Ruining things for Colby would kill me. Which is why I’m not pinning down any of the plans forming in my brain. I will go in there with the complete belief that everything will turn out perfectly.
