Stubborn Puckboy (Puckboys, #9)

by Eden Finley

Novicov is crushing it though. I’d be jealous if he weren’t all kinds of adorable.

His features make him look the part of angry Russian, but there’s something about his dopey smile that speaks to me on a primal level.

My off-season was spent attending other people’s weddings, fielding messages from Ezra, and visiting glory holes. What a life.

It’s hilarious. Only, I laugh on the inside so they don’t see I have a big sense of humor. I’m really a puppy.

“He’s sadistic, I swear.” “Da. I like it.” “You would.”

Ya v glubokom der’me. I’m in deep shit.

“I don’t want to.” “Then … I don’t know. Scowl at him a bunch. Give him the evil eye.” “I do not scowl.” “And I’m not a former fuckboy. This game is fun.”

Radimir Novicov is a pain in my ass, and not in the fun way.

“I don’t hate you. My issue with you was …” He averts his gaze. “The complete opposite of hating you.” Wait, what?

Men are my weakness, so I don’t bother looking. That was my first mistake with him.

“I smile always.” “Maybe on the inside. That doesn’t count.” “Of course it counts.”

“You’re still the same old Novi. You act tough and joke about being a delightful ray of sunshine, but the truth is, you’re not joking at all. Deep down, you’re a gentle sweetheart who wants to be loved for who he is.”

To get that, just once, would be enough to tide me over forever. Or ruin me forever.

He looks back up at me, and when his gray eyes meet mine, I decide they might be my favorite color I have ever seen.

Kissing Colby might be better than hockey.

Seventeen years, I’ve waited for this. Seventeen long fucking years.

“Years …” he says, a hitch in his voice. “I’ve pictured that night going like this for years.” “Me too,” I admit, voice hoarse. “So show me the rest of your fantasy.”

My other hand finds his hair, fingers twisted through the strands, keeping him in place as I kiss him like it might be the last time. It cannot be the last time. I never knew how much I needed this.

“It was special because it was with you.” Damn, if that’s not the most perfect thing he could’ve said.

I’m going to make sure Novi knows the magic on the ice tonight came from my dick. Best coach ever award goes to me.

I want to wear the jerseys, I want to use rainbow tape, I want to marry a man and plaster my husband all over social media. I want to be the You Can Play spokesperson. I want other people to see me the way I see Ezra Palaszczuk. Fearless.

Anyone can be a judgmental asshole, and the internet gives them free rein to do it.

Time is a bitch. A few nights without him have felt as long as the seventeen years I did actually live without him.

“What a man does with the other end of a bottle of vodka is his business.” “If it is anything other than drinking it, I don’t want it to be my business either.”

I don’t know why people don’t expect it from me when I am always having cute gossip huddles with my teammates.

“What should I do?” “Taunt him until he shoves you up against a wall and takes you there and then?” I’m concerned by how easily that came to him. “That is not a thing that would ever work.” “Ah, yeah, never,” Anton mutters somewhere in the background.

“Ezra gave you advice about me?” “He is very wise. He got someone as hot as Anton to love him, even with his annoying personality.” “Unlike your sunshiny disposition that everyone loves so much.” “Exactly. Ezra is lucky I was not out when Anton was free.” “Still as delusional as always.”

“We could say we’re friends.” “Last time you admitted to being friends with someone in queer circles, you threw your phone in a lake.” “I was teaching it how to swim.”

“I have thought about it.” “That wasn’t long enough.” “Yes it was, because the answer is simple. I want you. I want you now. And if I have to face the reality I’ve been hiding from for the last seventeen years to have you, then I will. Because I didn’t let this happen once before, and I’m not going to make that same mistake again.”

Full and logical thought process? Who needs that when you can have hot and heavy man-on-man action that results in orgasms? Smart decisions going on all around here.

He’s ready for real intimacy, and even though it might break my heart, ruin my career, and fuck me over in the long run, I’m going to give it to him. Freely.

All that matters is that when I open my eyes again and meet Novi’s gaze, he’s smiling in a way I’ve never seen him smile before. It’s official. I’m claiming it. That smile belongs to me.

Colby is my favorite addiction.

“I deserve to exist too, even if in secret,” I force out. “Jesus, Novi.” Turkey grabs my shoulder and pulls me into an aggressive hug. He squeezes me tight, not caring he showered and I stink like a dog. “I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I’ve got your back, brother. Always.”

“You are so jealous, but that’s okay. I would be too.” “If I hugged another man?” “No. If I were you. I’m a sexy man. As soon as I come out, men will fall at my feet, and I will have to say, ‘Sorry. I have very jealous boyfriend.’”

Seeing him so filled with tension whenever we’re together in public only reminds me that while he’s making me happy, I’m doing the opposite for him. Stress can also lead to heart attacks. I don’t want him to have a heart attack. I need his heart. I’m going to win it one day.

“Landers’s stinky skates it is. I hope he doesn’t have athlete’s foot.” “Wear two pairs of socks. Condoms for your feet.” The things this guy says, I swear to God. “Feet condoms. Got it.”

Colby Kessinger makes my body hum with an electrical awareness that’s only ever belonged to him.

I like being a bonus, but I want to be sweet as well. Colby deserves sweet. And adoring, romantic, and someone who makes him happy. I want to be all of those things.

My eyes roll back the moment I slip inside him. His body pulls me in, closes tight around me, and I sink into the man I’ve fantasized about from the moment I met him.

I’ve had too many years without him. I never want to go back to that again. Never.

I make myself a promise. If things ever come down to Colby or hockey again … I’ll choose him.

My chest is light and bubbly. I’ve never been so happy. His lips press to my temple, and I close my eyes against it. I’m wrung out to every limb. This is how life should be.

Now I know why the Collective say Lane has Daddy vibes.

It might be official: Novi’s sister is him in woman form. Terrifying, subtly sweet, but most of all, bullheaded and stubborn.

Why does timing have to be a cruel bitch?

I both love and hate how he makes it sound like I’m special. That I’m the only one who understands him. Like I was made for him.

“Now who speaks bad English?” “How was that bad English?” “Because it makes no sense. I want you everywhere with me.”

“Besides, we’ll be at Oskar and Lane’s house, which is technically in public but also within the safety of the Queer Collective, who are vowed to silence when it comes to me.” My lips twitch. “You made them take a vow of silence?” “No. They super nicely offered it to me. It was weird.” “Were you, by any chance, smiling at them when they did it?” “I was! How did you know?” “Just a hunch.”

“I could tell you that, but it wouldn’t matter anyway.” “Why?” Oskar hooks a thumb over his shoulder. “Lane hid everything phallic-shaped before you got here.” “The audacity.” Lane pours himself another drink. “I stand by my decision.” Anton tilts his beer Lane’s way. “Thank you for your service.”