And if, listening to the recording, the investigator turns her gaze away, unable look at me, with that sad, devastated look in her eyes, it’s because it’s not me she’ll hear, but herself and everyone along with her, saying: I will not save you, while she wanted to hear me say the opposite – wanted it for herself, for everyone, so humanity could be reassured about itself, so humanity need not doubt its humanity, and so she would not have to fear what she’d become, that is to say, a woman like me, like the one I’ve become. But I didn’t say it, I didn’t say: You will not die, I will save you.
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