Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“Yep.” Smiling, I reached up and brushed a tear from his cheek. “I’m always okay, Gibs.”

“If something is upsetting you, then it matters,” he replied, keeping his whiskey-brown eyes locked on mine. “It matters a lot to me.”

Hugh looked at me like he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t push. Instead, he squeezed my hand and whispered, “I love you, Lizzie Young.” Guilt and hope bloomed in my chest, making me feel both excited and devastated all at once. “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” He leaned in close and pressed his forehead to mine. “No matter what.”

She seemed a lot more relaxed this weekend and had slept like a baby last night. She credited this to having me in her room, having told me numerous times that I was her own personal dream catcher. Apparently, my presence in her room, with my makeshift bed on the floor next to hers, kept the monsters at bay.

None of it scared me off being with her, though. Because, even if I didn’t have the emotional capacity to truly appreciate the battles she fought, I had the wherewithal to acknowledge the gifted mind hidden beneath the fractured particles.

Because her son was my sun. “I just want Hugh,” I strangled out, voice shaking almost as much as my body. “Just…just Hugh, okay?”

My opportunity arrived near the end of the day, when Ciara Maloney hit Shannon on the back with a blackboard duster, and I, in turn, hit Ciara in the face with my fist.

Oh fuck. My poor, poor heart.

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Feely liked Liz.

She said no. She turned him down. Breathe, Hugh, breathe.

“That there’s only one boy I want as my boyfriend.” She kept her eyes on mine when she stepped closer, so close that I could feel her heart thundering in her chest. “And he’s the only boy I’ll ever say yes to.”

“Good. You go right ahead and keep on not dreaming about it,” Gibsie replied in a warning tone. “Because I’m not as in control of my actions as he is.” He pointed to me while keeping his eyes trained on Feely. “And I’ll kill ya dead, Patrick Desmond Feely.” Gibs made a throat slashing sign with his finger. “Don’t let this angel face fool you,” he continued, pointing to himself. “There’s a killer lurking beneath. One that’ll kill ya stone dead if you try to take my Claire-Bear, ya hear?”

The temporary relief from mental torture led me to playing with knives while other girls my age played with dolls.

His green eyes flicked to mine in challenge. “Are you going to rat me out?” “No.” I shook my head. “I know how to keep a secret.” “Yeah.” He exhaled another cloud of smoke. “Me, too, kid.”

“Who made you cry?” “Why?” I arched a brow. “Are you going to beat them up?” “I might,” he replied with a lazy shrug. “If you need me to.” “I don’t need anyone.” Now he did smile. “I figured.”

“We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but either way, we’re still going to end up at the same conclusion.” “Which is?” “You telling me who made ya cry, and me fixing it for ya.”

“Besides, I don’t like owing people.”

“I will return the favor, kid.”

“I’m going to keep you safe,” I promised, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Always.”

“No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz,” I confirmed, not truly comprehending the vow I had taken upon my young shoulders. “No matter what.”

Even as kids, when Liz was sad, she wasn’t just sad. She was devastated. She always seemed to feel things deeper than the rest of us and then soaked up all the pain around her like a sponge. Excellent at masking, she had learned how to hide her turmoil from her friends.

Not me, though.

I saw right through her armor, which was how I knew she was...

“Call her a bitch one more time and you’re going to find out how much on her side I am,” I warned, squaring up right back at him. “And if you ever think about putting your hands on her again, I’ll take the head clean off ya.”

I tried so hard to keep my cool, but when they targeted Gibsie, I lost it. He was so sweet and gentle, and he didn’t deserve to be picked on all because he didn’t want to play their stupid game.

This was the woman who gave me life. I would rather be raked over hot coals than cause her distress.

“And I’m always going to love you, Lizzie Young.” I pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “No matter what.”

“Hugh.” Finally blinking, she opened her eyes and tried to locate my face. “I love you, too.” “I know you do.” My heart seemed to soar and break all at once.

“I need you.”

“I know.” Nodding, I cradled her hand to my cheek, needing to feel her touch. “I need you, too.”

“Don’t go,” was all she replied, and it was a barely coherent mumbled slur. “He gets me when you’re not here.”

Yeah, I didn’t take that lying down and decided there and

then if they wouldn’t explain what was happening to Liz, I would figure it out myself.

hugh is a man. no doubts about it! but it heals and hurts my heart for him because he’s so young! he just a child right now and he’s taking on so much. he’ll be the greatest man alive when he’s older i just know it.

And then she did something so incredibly Lizzie-like that I knew I had my friend back. She sniffed me.

“I’m happy.” “Good.” My response seemed to relieve his tension and he visibly relaxed beneath me. “Because I want you to be happy, Liz.” “I’m always happy when I’m with you.” “Yeah,” he replied, voice sounding a little deeper than usual. “It’s the same for me.” “Thanks for picking me by the way,” I said, shifting closer. “I know you and Claire got to pick one friend each to come on this trip, and I also know that Claire picked Gibs.” I smiled before adding, “Which means you picked me.” “I’ll always pick you, Liz.” Hugh’s arm came around my waist and he pulled me closer to his chest. “You’ll always be first choice.” “For trips?” “For everything.”

I couldn’t take another second of anticipation and clearly neither could Hugh because he lowered his face to mine at the same time I tilted my chin up. And there it is. Finally!

The moment our lips touched, a crackling surge of electricity ricocheted through every part of me. Instinctively, my eyelids fluttered shut, and I clung to his body, feeling a blast of adrenaline so powerful that no amount of cliff diving could compete with it.

Nope, it was clear to my poor, fickle heart that only one person could pull the strings of my ...

Please Jesus, don’t let it land on the touchy-feely redhead. Please, God, save me from this mess. I’ll do anything if you just make that bottle stop on… “Lizzie!” the girls cheered, and my pulse skyrocketed when I saw that my spin had landed on her. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jesus!

Gibsie was the greatest friend a person could have. He was loyal, trustworthy, had the best personality in the whole school, and really fucking cared about the people he loved. Feely and I both knew that friends like Gerard Gibson didn’t come around too often, and I was glad Johnny realized it, too.

I was thrilled he had finally found his wings. He would always have me in his corner, no matter what, but seeing him making his way at school, and making friends for himself, made me so fucking proud. Because Johnny Kavanagh was his friend. Yeah, the four of us all hung out at lunch together, and Feely and I considered Johnny our friend, too, but everyone knew where Cap’s loyalties rested.

“Oh yeah?” Still smiling, I locked eyes on him and warned, “Or maybe, one day in the future, when I’m all grown-up, I’ll hunt you down and put a bullet in yours.”

I made peace with the knowledge that I was a lost cause. That I couldn’t be cured of my addiction to this girl. That I would forever seek her out.

“Because no matter how happy or sad you feel, I’ll be right here with you.” “You will?” “Every step of the way.”

“How do I feel?” “Honestly?”

“Always.” “You burn me,” I admitted, stroking her cheek. “In the best possible way imaginable.” She seemed to think about that for a moment before asking, “Does anyone else burn you?” “No,” I replied, wholly fixated on her face. “Only you.” “Really?” “I swear on my life.”

He was as innocent as she was.

“What’s this?” His cheeks turned red. “It’s an ankle bracelet.” It wasn’t just an ankle bracelet. It was the most beautiful ankle bracelet I’d ever seen. I felt my body grow hot as I registered how each individual charm had been carefully selected by my boyfriend. “The Gemini zodiac sign for your birthday, and the heart represents, well, you know.” He blushed a deeper shade of red. “The book represents the one I know you’re going to write one day, and the pill is so you remember to take yours.” “The witch’s broomstick?” His lips twitched. “Because you’re my little witch.” I smiled. “And the life buoy?” “I couldn’t stop thinking about what you told me, about how you’ve always felt like you were supposed to drown,” he explained, carefully clasping the anklet around my left ankle. “Well, I put that there to remind you that as long as I have air in my lungs, I’ll never let you go under.” “Hugh.” My eyes filled with tears. “Thank you.”

When I realized no one would ever believe me. When I decided I didn’t believe myself, either.

It made me feel so confused because all the scary things the monster forced me to do, all the awful things that hurt me inside and made me cry, were the very things I wanted this boy to do to me.