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“Liz, you’re fucking killing me.”
“You’re going to come out of this.” Sniffling, Hugh turned his head away and used his shoulder to wipe his check. “And when you do, you’re going to hate yourself as much as I wish I could hate you.”
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t fucking stop crying. How my heart remained beating, I would never understand, because she’d splattered it all over my bedroom wall.
“Is it really that deep, Hugh?”
“Don’t you be talking shit about my Johnny,” Gibsie growled, puffing out his chest. “I’ll take the head off ya for that.”
“We promise, lad,” they both vowed in unison. “No matter what.” No matter what. Fuck.
The worst part of it all was Liz wasn’t even sorry.
I felt like I was nothing. Nothing but collateral damage in her tornado of emotions.
“Don’t say anything,” I half warned, half begged. “I don’t want you to think badly of her.”
“I would never hurt you.” “Liar,” he roared, tears streaking his cheeks, as he pulled at his hair in utter distress. “Look at me, baby! Take a good fucking look!”
Gerard told me that I’m not supposed to talk about it anymore,” she continued to ramble. “He wouldn’t say why or explain anything to me, but he made me promise that I wouldn’t talk about your relationship anymore. Not to anyone.”
I tried my hardest not to look, but somehow my gaze always returned to her. Dancing with him.
“But you have to get back up, Hugh. You have to pick yourself up and fight, lad.”
“I’m trying,” I bit out, feeling my heart shatter and thunder all at once. “But I’m just so fucking hollow, Gibs.”
Gibsie was a lot of things, but disloyal was not one of them.
In my whole life, I had never met a more faithful human being. It didn’t matter if we were on the outs or not, he never breathed a word of my personal life to anyone—not
It was Gibs who’d picked me up off the ground after the breakup, and he was the one who sat with me during my darkest days—and
“Then you’re a better man than him,” he replied, squeezing my shoulder. “And you deserve better.”
needed to stop feeling her pain. It didn’t belong to me. It wasn’t my trauma.
it made me feel every bit the whore the monster molded me into.
What needed to happen to set him free from the hell that was loving me.
“Your eyes are black,” he said sadly. “You’re not well, and Pierce shouldn’t be taking advantage.”
the difference between the two of us is that I don’t take advantage of vulnerable girls. Because I’m a man, asshole, and you’re a boy.”
Because I was so damn deeply in love with this girl that it physically hurt to stand here and not hold her.
“All I wanted was fidelity.”
“The monster!” I screamed, throwing my hands up. “You know he fucks me in my dreams, don’t ya? He’s been doing it for years!” I choked out a maniacal laugh. “Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you I’ve been sleep-cheating on you for years!”
“He doesn’t deserve you,” Hugh roared, snatching me back up. “And you don’t deserve this demon fucking disease!”
Because I was a mistake. His greatest mistake.
“Yeah, Liz.” Pain flickered in his eyes, and he nodded slowly. “You can hold my hand on the walk.”
“Where the hell were you when I was screaming for you!”
“I just want to stop hurting people,” I replied, crying quietly
“I want to be me again, Dad.”
“I’m here, Liz,”
“I’m right here.”
Going to Liz when she needed me wasn’t something I had to wrestle with. There was no decision to make. All the pain and hurt could wait.
Catherine, I heard her say, “You lied
to her, didn’t you?” Tears filled her eyes. “You won’t be there when she comes home.” Shaking my head, I roughly wiped my tears away. “I’m sorry.”
“You know me, Claire.” Swallowing down my emotions, I smiled brightly. “I’m always okay.”
“Because you’re you again.” A faint smile ghosted his lips. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted, Liz.” Pain flickered in his brown eyes. “I want you to be okay.”
“I’ll never have a greater friend, Hugh Biggs, or a greater love.”
“I’ll never stop being sorry for betraying you,” she said, holding her head in her hands. “And I’ll never forgive myself for killing us.”
“You can’t be friends with the person you’re in love with.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “And I’m always going to be in love with you, Hugh.”
“I want you to have the best life imaginable. Nobody deserves it more than you.”
you are too amazing of a person to spend your life stuck on a fuckup like me.”
“Is she good to you?” Sniffling, I nodded. “Yeah, she’s really good to me.”
I needed protection from her. Because no one could hurt me like Liz could.
“I’ll always love you, Hugh Biggs,” Liz said when she rounded the table and stopped in front of me. Inhaling a quivering breath, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek before whispering, “No matter what.”
And then she was gone.
