Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“Don’t worry,” she said, soothing me and rubbing her nose against mine. “The doctors are very happy with Mammy.” “Really?” She nodded. I beamed back at her. “Then my wish came true.” “What wish, sweetheart?” “I used my birthday wish on you,” I replied happily. “To make you better, and it worked.”

Claire was loud and funny, and she made me feel happy. Shannon was quiet and calm and made me feel safe.

“You’re different, Lizzie Young.” “I am?” She nodded and smiled. “You’re special.” “Is that bad?” “No.” She shook her head, still smiling. “You remind me of Joe.” “Your brother?” “Yep.” She nodded again. “And that’s a very good thing.”

“I don’t think I like you, Lizzie Young.” He looked out the window when he whispered, “I know I do.”

“Oh really?” Caoimhe’s eyes danced with mischief. “What kind of questions, Claire?” “Like what’s her favorite color, and does she like dinosaurs, and who’s her favorite author, and does she talk about him at school,” my sister replied with a snicker. “He even draws her pictures, and writes little notes, and makes me bring them to school for her.” Groaning, I fought the urge to run upstairs and die from my shame in private.

Mark didn’t fix me this time. Hugh did. And he didn’t have to hurt me to do it…

“They’re scared of the brave knight.” “I’m the brave knight?” Tearful, she nodded. “Am I still your lady?” “You’ll always be my lady,” I promised. “Milady.”

“Will I be okay, Hugh?” she asked then, looking up at me like I had the answers. “Will I ever be normal like the other girls?” Her words tore strips out of my heart and I felt an intense urge to soothe her fears.

Because her son was my sun. “I just want Hugh,” I strangled out, voice shaking almost as much as my body. “Just…just Hugh, okay?”

“Hold up.” Narrowing his eyes, he gave Feely a wary look. “You didn’t ask Claire out when you were scampering around looking for a girlfriend, did you?” “No, Gibs,” Feely chuckled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.” “Good. You go right ahead and keep on not dreaming about it,” Gibsie replied in a warning tone. “Because I’m not as in control of my actions as he is.” He pointed to me while keeping his eyes trained on Feely. “And I’ll kill ya dead, Patrick Desmond Feely.” Gibs made a throat slashing sign with his finger.

“Don’t let this

angel face fool you,” he continued, pointing to himself. “There’s a killer lurking beneath. One that’ll kill ya stone dead if you ...

“Lad,” Feely chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his as we watched Liz walk toward us. “I don’t know if I’m in love or in fear for my life.”

those scars on my wrists depicted the ugliest parts of my mind. But Hugh kissed each one like they were beautiful. Like I was beautiful. Like I was still me.

Gibsie was the greatest friend a person could have. He was loyal, trustworthy, had the best personality in the whole school, and really fucking cared about the people he loved. Feely and I both knew that friends like Gerard Gibson didn’t come around too often, and I was glad Johnny realized it, too.

Eyes widening in horror, I gripped my duvet and pulled it over my head. Monster. He was a monster. The monster was real.

“There’s nothing wrong with her eyes,” Hugh cut in, attention riveted to the headstone I last noticed her hiding behind. “I see her, too.”

“But I’m bipolar,” I croaked out, feeling my body grow limp against his. He kissed my temple. “I know.” “That’s not good.” “Says who?”

Sniffling, I choked out a pained sob. “Everyone.” “Not me.” He kissed my temple again. “I happen to adore that complicated mind of yours.”

There was a part of my girlfriend that went into the ground with her sister, and I couldn’t stop it from happening.

Worse, nothing I did seemed to revive the part of her spirit that had been snuffed out that night. All I could do now was try to hold on to the parts of her I could still reach. Hold on for dear life and pray she didn’t slip from my fingers.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what you told me, about how you’ve always felt like you were supposed to drown,” he explained, carefully clasping the anklet around my left ankle. “Well, I put that there to remind you that as long as I have air in my lungs, I’ll never let you go under.”

“And loosen that tie, will ya?” he added, giving his best friend a final once-over. “You’re heading into a classroom, Gibs, not a courtroom.” “Anything for you, bestie,” Gibsie replied, quickly falling into step with him. “If you call me that again, I’ll throttle ya,” Kav grumbled, while planting a hand on Gibsie’s shoulder and steering him away from a puddle of rainwater. “Aye-aye, Captain.”

This playful side of Liz was a rare and glorious sight, because life had hardened my baby, but tonight she was basking in her youth. In this moment, she looked happy.

LMC and U2’s “Take Me to the Clouds Above” had taken over from the previous song, and I thought it was so fitting in this moment, because Hugh Biggs could take me anywhere and I would go with him gladly.

“I don’t like blonds,” Gibsie mimicked before sticking his middle finger up at him. “What do you call me, asshole?” “Am I fucking you, Gerard?” “I sincerely hope not, Jonathan.” “Well then, there you go.” “Say you like blonds.” “I will not.” “Say it.” “It’s a preference. I’m allowed to have a preference, asshole.” “You most certainly are not,” Gibsie huffed. “Not when it leaves me out.”

“Have you taken something?” “Nope,” I snickered, and choked out another fitful laugh, while attempting to untangle my foot from the strap of the gear bag. “Not that it’s any of your business, nosy girl, but I haven’t taken up the heroin route yet.”

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Mam argued gently. “Teenage girls don’t cry over boys like this when they’re not in love.”

“Don’t say anything,” I half warned, half begged. “I don’t want you to think badly of her.”

Tears filled Mam’s eyes. “I wouldn’t do that, love.” “I don’t want anyone else to think it, either.” “Okay, love.” “Because she’s sick, Mam, and whatever she did, she wouldn’t have done it if she were herself.” “Oh, Hugh.” “Please. I don’t want it getting out, Mam,” I admitted, rubbing my jaw. “And definitely not back to Claire. So, please just…just put it in a box in the back of your mind and forget about it.” Knees bopping restlessly, I added, “Because Liz needs this place.” I inclined my head to where the three of them were nestled up. “She needs you and Claire.”

“I would never hurt you.” “Liar,” he roared, tears streaking his cheeks, as he pulled at his hair in utter distress. “Look at me, baby! Take a good fucking look!”

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to absorb his words. “Please don’t leave me.” “I didn’t leave you, Liz,” he croaked, lifting his head to look at me. “You left me.”

Therefore, I should have been feeling glad about the disappointment in his eyes. It was what I wanted, after all. What needed to happen to set him free from the hell that was loving me.

“You keep your goddamn mouth shut about her being vulnerable or any of it,” I threatened. “Because if you ruin her reputation, I will bury you.”

“Liz.” My heart cracked. “Flipping in and out of reality is no way to live.” “I know.” Tears filled her eyes. “But it’s better than living without you.”

“Why would you even want that?” I choked out, roughly shoving him away. “You said it yourself: being around me makes you miserable!” “Yeah,” he snarled, closing the space between us. “And not being around you makes me feel even worse!”

Closing my eyes when the warm liquid flushed through my veins and the mask was placed on my face, I focused on the mental image of Hugh, while I prayed for my mind to never forget a single memory of him.

I still felt her absence everywhere, and nothing I tried could fill the hollowness under my rib cage.

A pained sob escaped her when she said, “I’ll never have a greater friend, Hugh Biggs, or a greater love.”

“I’ll never stop being sorry for betraying you,” she said, holding her head in her hands. “And I’ll never forgive myself for killing us.”

“No, Hugh, we can’t,” she replied sadly, entwining her fingers with mine. “You can’t be friends with the person you’re in love with.” Tears trickled down her cheeks. “And I’m always going to be in love with you, Hugh.” I believed her.

“And I want you to move on from me,” she said, choking on the words like they physically pained her. “I don’t want you to feel guilty about it or think you’re doing something wrong, because you aren’t. Because you are too amazing of a person to spend your life stuck on a fuckup like me.”

“I’ll always love you, Hugh Biggs,” Liz said when she rounded the table and stopped in front of me. Inhaling a quivering breath, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek before whispering, “No matter what.” And then she was gone.