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“Caoimhe Young passed away tonight.”
Whatever was happening, my parents had gotten it wrong. Lizzie and Caoimhe were in Texas with their parents. Christ, even Mark was in Texas with their family. This was a huge misunderstanding. It had to be.
“What the fuck did you do to my sister…” “Liz?” “You can’t keep us locked in here forever…” “It’s me, Hugh.” “She’s a child, you monster. She’s a fucking baby and you put a baby inside her…” “Can you hear me, Liz?” “He’s a monster, Lizzie. You need to get out…” “I’m right here, okay?” “I’m so sorry I didn’t protect you both…” “I won’t leave you on your own, Liz, I promise.” “Run, Lizzie, and don’t look back…” “No matter what.” No matter what. No matter what. No matter what. Hugh!
Lizzie released one more gut-wrenching sob before looking Gibs right in the eyes and saying, “Don’t ever speak to me again.” It was at that exact moment I came to the sudden realization that nothing would ever be the same.
You can look but don’t touch. x Keeping my chin ducked low to hide my smile, I tapped out a response and pressed send. The only girl I’m looking at is my girl, and she’s the only girl I’ll be touching. x
On the rare occasion I had to address him by name, I used the only word that seemed to come out: the childhood pet name I had given him. It hurt a little less that way, and I could manipulate my mind to separate the two. Because the monster never said the name Thor.
“If I were naked in your bed, you’d throw holy water on me and cart me off to confession.” “Not tonight, I wouldn’t.” Snickering, I turned to look at his face and grinned. “Are you saying you want me naked in your bed?” “I never not want you naked in my bed.”
Honest to God, this girl was heaven on earth to me.
“I swear half of your genetics were switched with a mermaid.” “More like a shark,” I called over my shoulder. “Nah, you’re too pretty to be a shark,” she grumbled back. “You’re definitely half-mermaid.”
Could people get arrested for kissing in swimming pools? It was something I was going to have to search up.
We were so very similar, this deer and me. We were both prey.
“I had to cut you down from a makeshift noose, Liz! You spent six weeks in a goddamn hospital bed. Why would you even think about coming off your meds again?”
“But I don’t expect you to understand that, considering you’re pro-counseling, pro-medication, pro-fucking-everything-that-makes-me-feel-dead-inside!”
“Believe me, Liz, if I could fix you with sex, I would fuck you forever.” “Why can’t you just try!” “Because I’m afraid.” “Of what?” “Of you, Liz. I’m afraid of you!” “So you’re afraid to fuck me because you’re afraid of me?” “No, Liz, I’m afraid to fuck you because I don’t know which version of you I’d be fucking!”
“Would it be this version of my girlfriend? The one who rubs herself against other fellas when she’s not trying to tear my clothes off. Or would it be the version of her that slits her fucking wrists!”
“You fucked him, Liz!” he roared, losing his cool. “Pierce O’Neill! My own goddamn teammate! You fucked him. So don’t stand here and tell me you love me.” “I do love you, Hugh!” “You don’t know the meaning of the word.” He seethed, chest heaving. “I loved you, Liz. Me.” He slapped a hand against his chest. “I fucking loved you enough to put you first. Even when it was hard to do the right thing. I fucking did it. Because that’s what someone does when they love someone. They put that person first.”
“Moving on is hard, isn’t it?”
I clutched the porcelain sink and stared at my reflection. A stranger stared back at me. A whore had stolen my face.
“Aren’t we all a little crazy inside?”
What was the point? I’d already lost everything. I was ruined.
“I didn’t mean to do any of this!” “I know, I know,” he groaned, sounding truly conflicted. “I know you’re sick. I know you don’t mean any of this, but it’s still real for me. Because I’m here, Liz. I’m the collateral fucking damage.”
“Kum-bay-fucking-ya, Hugo.”
“I was drunk, Hughie,” he groaned, flinching. “I messed up. I’m holding my hands up to it.” “And what’s your excuse every other time you’ve put your dick in her?” I demanded, seething. “Well? Have you been drunk for the past forty-eight days, too? Or are you going to use the jealousy card again? Or were you just fucking my girl because she’s vulnerable, and you’re a piece of shit!”
“Why can’t you just love me!” I screamed, stalking toward him when he tried to leave. “Why can’t anyone fucking love me!” “I do love you!” Hugh roared into my face, chest heaving. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here!”
I was a mistake. His greatest mistake.
“I’m always going to love you.” “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz,” I whispered, dying inside. “No matter what.”
“If you were a cake, you’d eat yourself, Gibs.” “Damn straight I would,” he wholeheartedly agreed, whipping off his shirt to flex his pecs. “Have you seen me?” Grinning, he kissed his bicep and rolled his hips like a damn porn star. “I’m fucking delicious.”
“Oh yeah, and he really thinks highly of ya, doesn’t he?” Dad sneered, looking furious. “Leaving his load inside of ya.” “Actually, he leaves his load in the condom he always wears, but thanks for the lack of faith, asshole.”
“I think I need some help.” “You’re damn right you do,” he replied, reaching up to brush Mam’s hair off her face. “Because your behavior is killing my wife.”
Everyone and everything I came into contact with ended up ruined, and I didn’t need to bring any babies into the world and ruin them, too.
“I want you to be okay.” He spoke slowly, enunciating every word with care. “I want you to have a good life.” “Yeah.” Just not with you.
“I know you need to stay away from me,” she breathed, body racking with tremors. “And I know why you can’t be my friend anymore, but I just want you to know that I am so grateful to have had you in my life.” A pained sob escaped her when she said, “I’ll never have a greater friend, Hugh Biggs, or a greater love.”
“I’ll always love you, Hugh Biggs,” Liz said when she rounded the table and stopped in front of me. Inhaling a quivering breath, she leaned down and pressed a kiss to my cheek before whispering, “No matter what.” And then she was gone.
