Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“Why not? It’s the truth. Half the time she’s a mute, and the other half, she’s screaming her head off and attacking anyone who gets near her.” My sister threw her hands up and screamed. “She attacked another child in her classroom, for fuck’s sake. My friend’s baby brother! She drew blood. You can’t honestly think that’s normal behavior.”

Breaking down in front of him, my sister covered her face with her hands and screamed, “I wish I was dead!”

“I don’t want to be me anymore.” “Why would you say that?” “Because I’m bad.”

I had to make my family love me. If I didn’t, they were going to send me away. “Stop fighting it,” a voice in my head commanded, and I flinched when the watery image of a woman’s face flashed before my eyes. “Just give in. It’ll all be better then.” Oh no. The voice was back. The scary voice. The one that made me wet the bed. The one that made me fight.

Claire was loud and funny, and she made me feel happy. Shannon was quiet and calm and made me feel safe.

“You’re different, Lizzie Young.” “I am?” She nodded and smiled. “You’re special.” “Is that bad?” “No.” She shook her head, still smiling. “You remind me of Joe.” “Your brother?” “Yep.” She nodded again. “And that’s a very good thing.”

Hugh Biggs had whiskey eyes that didn’t look away. Instead, they stayed right on mine, warm and kind and chasing away the scary feeling in my head.

Hugh shook his head and turned to leave, only to swing back around and lean in close. “I think you’re right,” he whispered, breath fanning my cheek.

When I introduced myself and we started to talk, I couldn’t hear a word of it. I had no clue what was coming out of my mouth. I was too distracted by the sound of my pulse drumming in my ears and the way my eyes enjoyed looking at this girl. It honestly couldn’t be helped because sitting in front of me was the prettiest girl in the world.

Because I quickly realized that I wanted her to admire me. Like I was definitely admiring her.

Gibs was always looking at her, and on the rare occasion he wasn’t, Claire was looking at him. Our mothers called it harmless puppy love, but I wasn’t so sure about that.

When the fear in her eyes was replaced with hope and her small hand tightened around mine, I felt a tingling sensation surge through me. While my brain seemed confused by the tingling, my heart assured me that it was an important feeling. That she was important.

Golden skin. Yellow hair. Kind smile. Eyes like Daddy’s whiskey. Soap and strawberries. Hugh Biggs.

“I don’t think I like you, Lizzie Young.” He looked out the window when he whispered, “I know I do.”

“You’ll always be safe with me.”

I couldn’t explain why I felt so uncomfortable or why the hairs on the back of my neck shot up whenever I laid eyes on him. But it always happened. I felt like Peter Parker with Spidey senses, and mine told me that Mark Allen was not good. Not good at all.

I was beginning to understand why Gibs wanted to be with Claire all the time. If she made him feel the way Liz made me feel, I didn’t blame him.

I didn’t feel like myself until she came back to me.

Because I loved Hugh Biggs. My heart was sure I did. And Hugh would never hurt me like he did.

She was afraid of Hugh. Because he was good. Because he was brave. A brave knight. A wave of relief washed over me, and I gripped the blanket draped over me, allowing my heavy eyelids to close. Mark didn’t fix me this time. Hugh did. And he didn’t have to hurt me to do it…

But if the ocean wanted Gerard Gibson, then it was going to have to take my arms with him because I would never let go of him.

In that moment, I vowed to never sit back and do nothing. I would never be a statue like Mark or incapable like Sadhbh and Keith. For the rest of my life, I would help. I would save people. I would bring them back to life. Like my father brought Gibs back from his watery grave. Like my mother brought his heart back to life.

“I love you.” My heart thumped like a drum in my chest because this was the first time he said those words out loud. “You do?” Nodding slowly, he stroked my cheek with his thumb and exhaled a shaky breath. “I just thought you should know.” A shiver racked through him. “In case anything happens and I don’t get to tell you.”

“What about my heart?” He laughed softly. “Your heart works just fine.” “But what if it breaks?” “That won’t happen.” “How come?” He turned another page before saying, “Because I won’t break it.” “But what if someone else breaks it?” “Not going to happen.” “How come?” “Because I’ve got it locked away safe and sound.” “Oh.” I snickered then, feeling mischievous. “What about your heart?” “What about it?” “What if it gets broken?” I teased. “You can’t fix your own heart, silly.” “Then you better keep it safe.”

In the real world, I was free.

All I could do was stay. So that’s what I did. Because I knew deep down inside that I would sit with Lizzie Young for the rest of my life if it kept the sadness out of her eyes. If it kept her safe.

I would find my way to her. If it was the last thing I did.

Thing was, I didn’t care if anyone believed me; I was more than willing to keep screaming his indiscretions from the rooftops.

One of these days, the grown-ups are going to see your true colors, and when that day comes, I’ll be right there to watch your fall from grace.

“H plus L.” I grinned at him. “Together forever.”

“And in twenty years’ time, when we come back here to visit, we can show this to our kids.” “So you are going to marry me,” I teased, elbowing his side. “I thought I already told you I would,” he replied, sounding confused. “No, you asked me would I say yes,” I corrected, shifting closer. “But you never actually said you would ask me.” “Oh.” His cheeks turned pink. “Well, consider this conversation my confirmation on that matter.”

I shook my head, unable to release my hold on her son. Because her son was my sun. “I just want Hugh,” I strangled out, voice shaking almost as much as my body. “Just…just Hugh, okay?”

“Call her a bitch one more time and you’re going to find out how much on her side I am,”

“Lad,” Feely chuckled, nudging my shoulder with his as we watched Liz walk toward us. “I don’t know if I’m in love or in fear for my life.”

“There’s my girl.”

“I’ll always pick you, Liz.” Hugh’s arm came around my waist and he pulled me closer to his chest. “You’ll always be first choice.” “For trips?” “For everything.”

The way he said my name caused a shiver to roll down my spine. Like he knew me. Like I was his. Like I belonged entirely to him.

This girl and these lips would haunt me for a lifetime.

“Because I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my girlfriend since 1994, and I don’t think I can hold it in another day.”

“Or maybe, one day in the future, when I’m all grown-up, I’ll hunt you down and put a bullet in yours.”

I knew deep down that I was never going to be able to get enough of this girl, and that was a terrifying concept. Knowing she held so much power over me made it hard to breathe.

Mark was the monster.

Help me, I wanted to scream, you’re the only one who can.

“You’re going to live a great life, Liz. A little complicated, sure, and maybe challenging at times, but it’ll be a fucking great one.” “I am?” “Yeah, Liz, you are.” “How can you know that?” “Because I’m going to make sure of it.”

“Well, I put that there to remind you that as long as I have air in my lungs, I’ll never let you go under.”

“She’s never not going to be sad,” Gibsie replied, sniffling again. “Trust me, that kind of sadness never goes away. The world just stops seeing it.”

“But it’s good to know where you stand on my relationship, Mam. Let’s rehash this conversation in twenty years when I swing by the house with my wife—previously known as the girl—and our children.”