I wanted to take off all my clothes and feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to peel the skin from my bones, strip by strip, until everyone could see how impure I was on the inside. I wanted to throw myself out of my bedroom window and impale my torso on the window bars below. I craved to know how it would feel to sever my carotid artery and watch the blood drain from my body. Would there be enough to drown the monster?
