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My sister labeled the color as dirty blond once, and while I had no clue about hair shades, I was sure Lizzie’s one was my favorite.
don’t know about rugby kicks, but you’re prettier than any other nerd,”
“Any other rugby player, too.”
“You look even prettier when ...
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“You’re not supposed to call me p...
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“I’m supposed to call yo...
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“You know you’re pretty.”
“Come on, I want to hear you say it.”
“You’re pretty,”
“The prettiest girl in Ballylaggin.”
happy. I wasn’t scared or sad or angry. All I felt was peace and contentment. Claire gave that to me without even realizing.
I knew all about that. And it came after the touching. The monster showed me.
“I love you, Lizzie Young.”
“No matter what?”
“Yeah, Liz.”
“No matter...
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It was a reminder that she was different. That she had a problem that I couldn’t fix for her. I couldn’t fight what I couldn’t see, and it made me feel helpless.
None of it scared me off being with her, though. Because, even if I didn’t have the emotional capacity to truly appreciate the battles she fought, I had the wherewithal to acknowledge the gifted mind hidden beneath the fractured particles.
Her family didn’t seem to understand her—well, her father and sister cert...
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My best friend had a beautiful, complicated, and brilliant mind, and I knew I had enough love in my heart for her to remain...
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“Because I would kill him before I ever let him hurt you.” “You would?” “Without a doubt.” “Why, though?” I shrugged. “Because you’re my best friend, and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to protect you.” Her blue eyes softened when she whispered, “I love you so much, Hugh Biggs.” Reaching out, she covered my hand with hers and smiled. “I wish you could stay with me forever.”
“It’s grand,” she replied, lowering herself down to sit cross-legged, facing me. “You’re all I want for my birthday.” The way she said it in such a blasé tone, like it was a given that she would only want me, made me feel like a million quid.
I knew the lads at school would call me an egghead for admitting it, but I fucking loved reading. Thrillers, murder mystery, true crime, autobiographies—it didn’t matter. I devoured every genre like crack. For me, books trumped rugby, soccer, and pretty much every other extracurricular activity I found myself lumped into. One of my favorite things about Liz was that she matched my enthusiasm for reading. We could easily sit for hours in each other’s company reading, without feeling an ounce of pressure to
I knew Liz was gorgeous, but her appearance could never hold a flame to her mind. The fact of the matter was she both challenged and intrigued me to the point where I was wholly invested in her.
Because her son was my sun.
just want Hugh,” I strangled out, voice shaking almost as much as my body. “Just…just Hugh, okay?”
The only time I truly felt anything was when I was with Hugh. He seemed to be the only person capable of kick-starting my emotions, and boy did they kick-start when he was around. The me without chemicals, that was.
“You are having a good day, Lizzie Young.” I pulled her closer to me, wanting to envelope her body with mine and protect her from the world. “You’re happy and safe because you’re with me, and you know I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
“I won’t let anything hurt you.”
“Because you’re my best friend in the whole wide world.”
“And I’m always going to love you, L...
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“No matter...
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“Well, I am sure, Liz,” I told her, feeling my heart shattering into a thousand pieces. “I’m sure that you’re good and kind and the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.” Swallowing down my emotions, I smoothed a hand over her hair and leaned in close to whisper, “You are all of the good things in the world and none of the bad. You won’t feel this way forever. Okay? You’re going to feel better again.”
go. Nothing in this world could trick me into releasing this boy. Not my thoughts. Not my mind. Not my broken pieces. Nothing.
“I heard he’s some hotshot from Dublin.”
JOHNNYYYYYYY OKAYYYY
Because those scars on my wrists depicted the ugliest parts of my mind. But Hugh kissed each one like they were beautiful. Like I was beautiful. Like I was still me.
Unable to stop myself, I shifted closer, wanting to fold my body into his, wanting to give him all my broken pieces and see if he could work miracles and put me back together again. Because on nights like this, when my mind quietened and my heart beat strong, he made me feel like he could.
When Hugh was around, everything in my life stabilized. It was as if he held my world in his hands and forced it to stop spinning, giving me time to catch my breath and get back up on my feet.
knew deep down that I was never going to be able to get enough of this girl, and that was a terrifying concept. Knowing she held so much power over me made it hard to breathe. When she leaned in close and her familiar scent infiltrated my senses, I made peace with the knowledge that I was a lost cause. That I couldn’t be cured of my addiction to this girl. That I would forever seek her out.
“Yep,” I squeezed out, attention riveted to the plum-sized glob of blood that had fallen out of my body and onto my bathroom floor. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it wasn’t my period. It looked like a clump of veins. It looked like a monster.
I am sick. Mark needs to go to literal hell
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, leaning heavily against me on the staircase. “I ruined our last day together.” “Today isn’t our last day together,” I replied, taking all her weight as I led her back to her room. “We have eighty years’ worth of tomorrows to spend together.” When I pulled back the covers and helped her into bed, I locked eyes on a large bloodstain on her pajama bottoms.
“You,” she repeated, clinging onto my arm. “Just you.” “You have me,” I whispered, feeling too much for this girl. “You’ll always have me.” “I don’t want to go tomorrow,” she choked out, crying hard now. “I don’t want to be away from you.” I didn’t want her to go, either. “It’s only for a little while,” I coaxed, heart breaking. “I’ll message you every day.” Smiling, I added, “And think of all that Texan sunshine.” “Sunshine means nothing to me if you’re not in it.” “Liz—” My voice cracked. “I’ll be here when you get home.” “I know.” She tightened her grip on my arm. “That’s the only thing
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“You raped your stepbrother,” Caoimhe screamed at the top of her lungs. “You’re an adult. Gibsie’s a child. You defiled his body. I saw you with my own eyes. That’s called being a pedophile!” The sound of a nearby door slamming filled the air, followed by fists pounding against wood. “Open the fucking door, Caoimhe!” “Go to hell!” “Don’t do anything stupid.” The pounding grew louder and louder. “I’m warning you!” “Get out of my fucking house,” Caoimhe screamed. “I’m calling the Gards right now, and when they get their hands on you, you’ll never see the light of day again, you sick, twisted
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I didn’t accept a single one of the countless handshakes I was offered, choosing instead to hold Hugh’s hand with both of mine. I didn’t want their touch. I didn’t want to feel another hand on my skin ever again. Only this boy. Hugh.
“You burn me,” I admitted, stroking her cheek. “In the best possible way imaginable.” She seemed to think about that for a moment before asking, “Does anyone else burn you?” “No,” I replied, wholly fixated on her face. “Only you.” “Really?” “I swear on my life.”
“I love you, and you can’t make me stop.”
“That’s not good.” “Says who?” Sniffling, I choked out a pained sob. “Everyone.” “Not me.” He kissed my temple again. “I happen to adore that complicated mind of yours.”
I had so much I wanted to say, so many angry words I wanted to scream, but I never would. Instead, I kept my mouth shut like the good boyfriend I vowed to be and did my best to love her back to life. I could feel the darkness was settling over her, threatening to overtake her, and I was determined to keep her heart in the sunshine. No matter what.
“Hmm.” Releasing a sigh of contentment, I gripped his forearms, forcing him to tighten his hold on me. “You sound like you’ve put a lot of thought into this.” “That’s because I have.” “Since when?” “Since the day you told me you would say yes if I asked you to marry me,” he replied without a hint of hesitation. “So you better keep that heart beating, ya hear?” He pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Because I need you, Lizzie Young. More than you realize.” “I will,” I whispered. “I promise.”
When Hugh kissed me, it wasn’t like anything I’d experienced before or since. He was loving me with his mouth. Expressing his feelings with every flick of his tongue. It was deep. It was all-consuming. Like I was the sole recipient of his time, focus, heart, and affection.
