Releasing 10 (Boys of Tommen, #6)

by Chloe Walsh

“I’ve been trying to work up the courage to speak to you all day, but I don’t have the right words,” a familiar voice said, and I turned to see Gibsie sit on the swing next to mine. “So I’m just going to sit here with you, okay?” Help me, I wanted to scream, you’re the only one who can. My voice betrayed me like it had when I was a child. Nothing came out. All I could do was stare at Gibsie’s big, gray eyes and will him to hear the words I couldn’t say out loud.

“I want to leave,” I begged, feeling drowsy and disorientated, as I stumbled toward my sister. “Please, Caoimhe.” Falling on my hands and knees on her bedroom floor, I reached for her hand and squeezed. “Make him let us go…” “It’s going to be okay.” Sniffling, she tucked me under her arm, while she continued to scribble furiously into her notebook. “We’ll get out of here, and when we do, he’ll pay for everything, Liz. I promise.” “I don’t care if he pays,” I sobbed, clinging to her body. “I just want to leave.” Tearing out a page from her journal, my sister folded the page in half and then folded it again and again until it was the size of a matchbox. “Here.” She shoved the note into my sock and grabbed my hands. “You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Her blue eyes watered as she spoke. “But if anything happens to me, and he doesn’t let me out of this room—” “Caoimhe, no!” I cried, throwing my arms around her neck. “Don’t say that.” “I have to,” she choked out, holding me tightly. “If anything happens to me, Liz, and I don’t get out, I want you to get this note to Gibsie. Can you do that for me?” Sniffling, she pulled back to look in my eyes. “I want you to tell him everything you told me tonight, and then I want you both to go to the police…”

“Can I give you a hug?” I heard Gibsie ask, distracting me from my frazzled thoughts. “Would that be okay?” Sniffling, I nodded and watched him climb off his swing and walk over to me. “I’m so sorry, Liz,” he croaked out, wrapping his arms around me. Numb, I rested my cheek on Gibsie’s shoulder. “I’m so, so fucking sorry.”

“What are you two doing out here on your own?” a familiar voice said, causing every muscle in my body to lock tight. The monster. Clenching my eyes shut, I clung to the boy hugging me and prayed he wouldn’t let go. Don’t let go, Gibs. Please don’t let go. Don’t leave me on my own with him.

“Go back to the house, Gibson,” he instructed. “I need to talk to my girlfriend’s sister.” No, Gibs! Don’t go. Please don’t leave me. “I, ah, I want to stay with her,” I heard my friend protest, but his voice shook almost as much as his body when he spoke. “Hugh had to go home for an hour, and he told me to stay with Liz. He told me not to leave her.”

“Actually, I’m the only one that should be speaking to her,” Mark replied, glaring at me. “Because I understand her. Because I was with her that night, not you. I hate to tell ya, Biggs, but I’m the one she needs right now.” My girlfriend proved him a liar when she sprang off the swing and dove for me. Trembling, Liz fisted my T-shirt and buried her face in my neck.

“You are stepping over a dangerous line, Biggs,” he said in a deathly cold tone. “Don’t push me.” “Kind of like how you walked over Caoimhe?” I shot back. “You trampled all over that girl like she was a fucking doormat, and you didn’t think twice about it. So don’t you stand here and tell me that my girlfriend needs anything from a piece of shit like you when you both know you are the worst type of cancer that ever entered her family.”

“Hugh?” Liz stopped walking and turned to look at me. “Don’t die, okay?” “I’m not dying, Liz.” “Please.” Tears filled her eyes as she stared into my eyes and begged, “Don’t ever leave me.” “I won’t.” My heart cracked in my chest. “I’m not going anywhere, Liz.” “No matter what?” “Yeah, Liz.” I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “No matter what.”

“Do you believe in heaven, Liz?” “No.” She shook her head. “Not anymore.” “How come?” “Because I don’t believe in anything anymore,” she replied, never taking her eyes off the daisy chain she was making. “I used to, I think, but not anymore.” She shook her head again. “Maybe I’m just broken inside.”

“Am I okay?” “Maybe not right now.” My heart cracked when I heard her pain. “But you’ll be okay one day.” “What if I’m not?” She reached up and batted another tear away. “What if I’m never okay again?” “You will be, Liz.” “But what if I’m not, Hugh?” she choked out, crawling onto my lap. “What happens then?” “Then that’ll be okay, too.” Sitting up, I wrapped her up in my arms and whispered, “Because no matter how happy or sad you feel, I’ll be right here with you.” “You will?” “Every step of the way.”

Her voice. Her eyes. Her smile. Her last moments. No, this couldn’t be it. She didn’t belong in here. My big sister. My only sibling. She was never coming back.

Someone reached for my hands and gently peeled them apart before entwining their fingers with mine. I didn’t need to look to know whose hand was holding mine. I could feel his presence: strong, dependable, and safe. He was the only thing I could feel nowadays.

The priest told my parents that God had taken my sister’s soul to heaven, but he forgot to mention that Caoimhe had taken my soul with her. I knew she had. There was a piece of me in the ground with her. I could feel it. A hollow, gaping ridge in my chest where she used to be. Where I used to feel.

Betrayal more potent than anything I’d ever felt overcame me when I locked eyes on the boy standing beside him. He stared back at me with gray eyes. Guilty eyes. How could he do that? How could he stand with him? Didn’t he know? He had to know. I did what she’d asked. She promised he would help. He hadn’t. Tears filled his eyes, matching the ones burning mine.

He can’t read the note☹️💔

“She’s fucking nuts, Hugh,” Mark continued to roar, turning his attention to me. “Even you know that.” “What I know is you’re a sanctimonious bully who lies through his teeth,” I roared back. “And if you call her crazy one more time, I’m going to show you the true meaning of the word.”

“Tell them, please tell them,” Lizzie cried out, staggering toward Gibsie of all people. “You know.” She dropped to her knees in front of him and grabbed his hands. “I know you know, Gibs. I helped you. I did. I helped you, and now you have to help me.” “I…” Looking deathly pale, Gibsie shook his head. “I can’t.”

“I thought you were my friend,” Lizzie cried, looking more broken in this moment than I’d ever seen her as she stared at Gibsie, who was standing with his family. “You’re supposed to be my friend.” “I am your friend.” Gibsie was crying as his mother ushered him back to where Mark and Keith were standing. “I am, Liz, I promise.” “Then tell them what you told my sister,” she begged, still on her hands and knees while my sister held her. “Tell them he killed my sister!” “He can’t because I didn’t do anything to your sister!” Mark roared, clamping a hand down on Gibsie’s shoulder. “I’m innocent and my brother knows that. Don’t you, Gibs?” “I don’t know what you want me to say,” Gibsie sobbed, crying as hard as Lizzie now. “I’m sorry, Liz, I wasn’t there.” Lizzie released one more gut-wrenching sob before looking Gibs right in the eyes and saying, “Don’t ever speak to me again.” It was at that exact moment I came to the sudden realization that nothing would ever be the same.

This is so heartbreaking and I fucking HATE Mark for ruining the purest of friendships

“Oh my God!” Caoimhe continued to scream. “I brought a pervert around those kids. I brought you around my sister—” “What did she say?” he demanded. “What did that little bitch tell you? Because you know she lies, Caoimhe. You can’t believe a word that lunatic says.” “What do mean what did she tell me?” “Nothing, forget I said that.” “What did you mean, Mark?” Caoimhe demanded. “What did you do to my sister?”

“No, no, no, no!” Caoimhe released an earth-shattering scream. “Tell me you didn’t! Not Lizzie!”

My momentary slip in sanity cost me a broken nose—courtesy of Mark—and a lifelong ban from number nine—courtesy of his father. It was worth it, though, and I would gladly take a dozen broken bones if it meant that I got to hit that prick again. Better still, Dad had taken leave of his senses when he saw the condition of my face and had beaten seven kinds of shite out of Mark for putting his hands on “his child.” I wasn’t too happy about being referred to as a child, but I couldn’t deny the solid my father had done for me. After all, Dad had been given a lifelong ban from number nine right along with me.

The first thing that greeted me when I reached the landing was the high-pitched, wailing noises coming from behind Caoimhe’s closed bedroom door. Instantly, I recognized the disturbingly unnatural sobs as those of a grieving mother. Only once before had I heard keening like that, and it had come from Sadhbh Allen when Bethany died. The excruciating keening sound that came out of a bereaved mother when her child died was hauntingly distinctive and something I hoped like hell I would never have to endure for a third time.

Moving straight for her, I kicked off my shoes and climbed under the covers next to her. “Hi, baby, it’s me,” I heard myself whisper and then quickly frowned when I realized the endearment that had escaped my lips. Whoa. I’d never called Liz that before. Even stranger was the fact that it felt right. Like I was supposed to call her that.

“They gave me an injection,” she croaked out when I rolled her onto her side to face me. “Another one.” Puffy blue eyes greeted me. “I can’t feel a thing.” “Maybe that’s a good thing,” I offered, resting my hand on her cheek. “You’ve felt enough pain, Liz.” “I want to feel you,” she whispered, eyes locked on mine. “And I can’t.” “You can’t feel me now?” I asked, stroking her cheek. “No,” she replied as another tear fell from her long lashes. “That’s okay,” I replied gently. “I can feel you.” “You can?” “Yeah, I can, Liz.” “How do I feel?” “Honestly?” “Always.” “You burn me,” I admitted, stroking her cheek. “In the best possible way imaginable.”

“Why are you sorry?” “For leaving you after the funeral.” “But you came back.” “Two days later, Liz.” “But you still came back, Hugh.” “I’ll always come back to you,” I offered, wanting to fold her into my body and keep her safe. “No matter how often I have to leave, just know that I will always come back for you.” “To me or for me?” “Both.”

“I’m the one supposed to drown, not her,” she explained. “I’m going to die in water, Hugh.” “Liz.” My entire body tensed. “Why would you say that?” “Because of my dream.” “What dream?” “The one where I’m trying to swim to the surface and someone is pushing my head under.” “Holy shit, Liz.” I couldn’t hide my horror. “How long have you been having that dream?” “Since as far back as I can remember,” she whispered. “The person holding me under screams at me to stop fighting, to just give up and breathe.” A full-body shudder racked through her. “When I do, I die, and that’s when I wake up.” “That’s horrendous.” “I think it’s an omen,” she admitted, sounding broken. “That I was never meant to be here…that I’m supposed to die under water.” “No.” The word came out a lot harder than I meant, but I couldn’t stop it because my heart was gunning in my chest. “No, Liz, that’s not true, so don’t you dare believe it.” “It’s kind of hard not to when I really want to not be here, Hugh.” “I need you here, Liz,” I croaked out. “I need you.” “You don’t need me, Hugh,” she replied sadly. “You want me, but you won’t always feel that way.”

“Aside from the fact that you’re my girlfriend and I adore you, you’ve been my best friend since I was seven. You’re the keeper of all my secrets and the only girl on this planet I would willingly spend my time with. I absolutely do need you, Liz.”

“I got in a fight with Mark.” Sighing in defeat, I quickly continued, “I smacked the shit out of him for all of three minutes before he broke my nose—oh, and then my dad broke his nose.” Shrugging, I admitted, “Dad’s banned from the house, too.” “Why would you do that?” she strangled out, fingers shakily tracing my cuts and bruises. “He’s a lot older and a lot bigger than you.” “Maybe right now,” I begrudgingly agreed. “But he won’t always be.” Snatching up her hand in mine, I pressed a kiss to her scarred wrist. “I’m going to grow up, Liz. One day, I’ll be a man, and if that prick even looks in your direction, I’ll put him in the ground.” Her eyes widened to saucers. “You w-would kill him?” “If he touched you? Absolutely,” I confirmed grimly. “And I wouldn’t feel bad about it, either.”

“You would do that for me?” A deep shudder rolled through her body. “But why?” “Because I love you,” I urged, kissing her wrist again. “And because I believe you, Liz.” I entwined her fingers with mine before adding, “I believe he raped Caoimhe.” Shifting closer, I pressed my forehead to hers once more and whispered, “And I will never let that animal do to you, Claire, or any other girl what he did to your sister. But mostly you.” “Why mostly me?” “Because I love you most of all.”

When he finds out, it’s going to DEVASTATE him

“Did he touch you, Lizzie?” my sister demanded, shoving Mark away when he tried to hug her. “Did Mark force you to have sex with him?” My body turned to stone, and I looked up at my sister with tears streaming down my cheeks. “Am I in trouble?” “She’s lying,” Mark snarled, pushing my sister so hard, she fell to the floor. “Tell her I never forced you, munchkin!” He grabbed my arm and forced me to stand. “Fucking tell her, you little cunt!” “Don’t touch her!” Screaming and snarling, Caoimhe flung herself at him, scratching and tearing at him. “You fucking monster.” “I’m broken,” he sobbed, trying to pull her body close to his. “I need help, baby, I’m sick.” “What did you do to her?” she continued to scream, knocking him to the floor. “How long has this been going on?” “She wanted it, I swear,” he tried to plead, pinning my sister down. “She was always jealous of us. What I have with you. She’s a fucking whore, baby. Your sister led me on. You have no idea what she’s capable of.” “She’s a child!” Caoimhe snarled, bucking her hips to knock him off her chest. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

I fucking hate him, he deserves worse than death

“I love you,” he said, whiskey-brown eyes searing mine. “I love you so much.” Reaching up, he cupped my face between his hands and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “Tell me you know that, Liz.”

“I know you love me, Hugh,” I whispered brokenly, as I straddled his lap. “But you love him more.” “No. I don’t.” Looking sad, Hugh slowly shook his head. “Not even close.” Yeah, he did. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Hugh loved Gerard Gibson like a brother. They had a bond that ran far deeper than friendship. Their lives were entangled in a way that was deeper than anything I’d ever known. There had been many occasions throughout the years when I had wished my own sister had loved me like Hugh loved him. I understood why, of course. I once loved him like a brother, too. Until he protected the monster responsible for my sister’s death. Until he betrayed me. Until he broke my heart.

I wasn’t surprised by his response. Just deflated. And a little more dead inside. Because Hugh would never choose between us, which meant that he chose him. Just like Claire and Patrick had chosen him, too. I was the disposable person in our friendship group. They would never leave him behind because to the Biggs family, Gerard Gibson was indispensable. He was more their family than I ever would be, and it hurt.

“Gibs is my family, too. By choice,” Hugh countered in a frustrated tone. “Does that mean I’m guilty by association, too?” “Forget it,” I mumbled, blinking away my tears. “Forget I said anything.” Sniffling, I climbed off his lap and retreated to the opposite side of my bed. “He’s your family and I’m just a girl.” “That’s not true, and you know it, Liz,” Hugh snapped, voice thick and gruff. “You have never been just a girl to me, but I can’t keep having this same fight with you.” “Then stop coming over and you won’t need to,” I hissed, feeling defensive. “You should leave.” “Like hell I’m leaving,” he countered, twisting around to glare at me. “Don’t you even think about pulling that stunt on me. It won’t work.” “What stunt?” “Pushing me away?” He shook his head. “I’m not leaving, Liz, so quit it.”

“I can’t be with you if you’re with him,” I heard myself shout, tears flowing freely down my cheeks now. “I don’t want anything to do with his family and you have everything to do with them.” “You don’t need to have a damn thing to do with any of them in order to be with me!” Hugh shouted back, pushing a hand through his hair in obvious frustration. “So just be with me, Liz!” “I don’t want to be anywhere, Hugh!” I lost all control and screamed. “And I especially don’t want to be in this fucking house!” Pulling up on my knees, I dragged my hands through my hair in frustration and choked out a furious scream. “No, Liz, stop!” “My sister’s dead, and my mother’s dying!” Pulling so hard on my hair, a clump came away in my hand, I tossed it away and quickly reached for my shorts-clad thighs. “Lizzie, please—” “My father hates me, and I’ve lost all my friends!” Digging my nails into my skin, I tore at my flesh deep enough to draw blood. “I wish I could switch places with Caoimhe!” Ignoring his protests, I continued to scream and claw at my skin. “I wish I fucking died that night!” “No, baby, no!” I felt Hugh’s arms come around me like a vise, rendering me helpless. “Please, Liz, don’t hurt yourself.”

“It’s not fair!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Why did she have to die, Hugh? Why Caoimhe? W...

“I don’t know, Liz,” he replied, keeping a firm hold of me. “I wish I had the answers for you, but I don’t. The only thing I can tell you with absolute certainty is that I am glad it wasn’t you.” “Don’t say that!” “I’m glad you didn’t die that night, and I would never wish for you to switch places with Caoimhe. Not in a hundre...

“You’re his friend, not mine!” I lashed out, desperate to prove myself right. Because he would leave me, too. That’s all I knew for sure in this life. Nobody stayed. “You’re his!”

I’m so sad for her because she really lost everyone in the end of Taming 7, only Shannon really stood by her

“I’m yours,” he soothed, voice steady and unwavering while I sounded feral. “I’m all yours.”

“I’m yours,” Hugh continued to promise, lips brushing against my ear as he spoke softly. “I’ve only ever been yours.”

“But I’m not a good person,” I cried out, feeling broken. “I’m a bad girl.” “That’s not true,” Hugh replied, voice thick with emotion. “Every single thing about you is good, Lizzie Young, and I’m your best friend, so I should know.” “But I’m bipolar,” I croaked out, feeling my body grow limp against his. He kissed my temple. “I know.” “That’s not good.” “Says who?” Sniffling, I choked out a pained sob. “Everyone.” “Not me.” He kissed my temple again. “I happen to adore that complicated mind of yours.” “It’s not complicated—it’s crazy.” “You couldn’t be more wrong if you tried,” he replied in a confident tone. “You’re going to live a great life, Liz. A little complicated, sure, and maybe challenging at times, but it’ll be a fucking great one.” “I am?” “Yeah, Liz, you are.” “How can you know that?” “Because I’m going to make sure of it.”

Meanwhile, Gibsie was so inconsolable over the whole ordeal that he could barely function. Beyond devastated at the realization of losing one of his best friends, Gibs had spent most nights since the funeral in floods of tears, finding comfort in Claire, who, aside from school, remained faithfully by his side.

☹️He truly did nothing wrong but Mark manipulated both of them

What I found myself torn over was her sudden and intense hatred of Gibsie. She blamed him for Caoimhe’s death as much as she blamed Mark. Maybe even more. I saw it in her eyes that day at the graveside when she fell to her knees in front of him. It was like a switch had been flicked in her mind, and he had become her mortal enemy. I knew she wasn’t thinking rationally, and I didn’t blame her one bit, but it broke my heart to watch her turn her anguish on Gibs. Because while I wholeheartedly believed my girlfriend when it came to Mark’s role in Caoimhe’s demise, I also knew with absolute certainty that Gibsie had no hand in it. He was as innocent as she was.

Something died inside of her that day, though. There was a part of my girlfriend that went into the ground with her sister, and I couldn’t stop it from happening. It was as if her sister’s death had broken a pivotal part of her mind, and I couldn’t reach her like I used to. The light in her eyes was gone and the change in her personality was as swift as it was contrasting.

Readjusting the sleeping girl on my lap, I leaned against the stack of pillows at my back and forced my heart to keep a steady rhythm. I could feel her tears seeping through the fabric of my school shirt, but I didn’t move. Even in sleep, she cried for all she had lost, and it broke my fucking heart. With her cheek pressed to my chest and her hands fisting my shirt, Liz clung to me like I was her last lingering lifeline, and sometimes, I thought I might be.

“Caoimhe?” I whispered in the darkness, knowing that even though she was on the opposite side of the room, she could still hear me. “Are we going to die here?” It took a long time for her to answer me, and when she finally did, her voice didn’t sound like how it used to. “No, Liz.” Her words were slurred and stretched. “I won’t let that happen to you.” Sniffling, I hooked my arms around my knees and rocked back and forth. “What about you?” Silence. Panic rose up inside of me. “I hate your bedroom,” I bit out, burying my face in my knees. “I don’t want to be here anymore.” “Me, too,” she replied, voice cracking. “I want Dad.” “I don’t,” I sobbed, feeling my body tremble from the cold. “I just want Hugh…”

I couldn’t be sure of a lot in life — I always had trouble distinguishing dreams from reality — but I knew one thing for absolute certain. It wouldn’t matter what I did or said about that night. Nobody was going to take my side. Nobody was going to believe me. They never had and never would.

Walking away from Lizzie Young wasn’t something I had the capacity to do.

Returning to her side was like the habit of a lifetime for me, but I did it without a hint of reservation, because regardless of how far she had fallen into the dark abyss of depression, there was no other girl on this planet I wanted to be with.

“Look at me, Liz.” Cupping her face between my hands, I pulled her close. “Open your eyes and look at me.” Reluctantly, she did. Pale, sunken eyes that seemed to be void of life stared back at me. “Where am I?” I asked in a steady tone, keeping my eyes trained on her. “Right here and now. Where am I?” “You’re here,” she strangled out through heaving sobs. “And who am I here with?” I continued, keeping a firm hold of her face. “Hmm?” “You’re here with m-me.” “I’m here with you,” I confirmed, stroking her tearstained cheek with my thumb. “And what am I not going to do?” She hiccupped a sob before whispering, “L-leave?” “That’s right. I’m not going to leave you,” I agreed, keeping eye contact with her. “And why am I not going to leave you?” Sniffling, she squeezed out, “Because you’re my b-best f-friend?” “I am your best friend,” I confirmed with another nod. “And what else?” “My b-boyfriend?” “I am your boyfriend,” I agreed in a gentle but firm tone. “But you’ve forgotten the most important reason I’m not leaving you.” She looked so small and fragile when she looked up at me and whispered, “Because y-you love m-me?” “Exactly.” My heart squeezed so tight in my chest, it was hard to get the words out. “I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything.”

“What’s this?” His cheeks turned red. “It’s an ankle bracelet.” It wasn’t just an ankle bracelet. It was the most beautiful ankle bracelet I’d ever seen. I felt my body grow hot as I registered how each individual charm had been carefully selected by my boyfriend.