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After all, I kept lots of secrets for them. Especially Mark’s secret superpower.
I can't with this. It hurts even more rereading it.
I didn’t want to get sick again. He said I would if he didn’t keep fixing me.
“I’m going to take some pictures of you, munchkin. Special pictures just for me, okay?”
This is actually sickening.
“You like to look, don’t you, munchkin?”
SO SICK.
No.
lying down on my mattress for my special hug and opening my legs just how Mark liked me to.
did i mention im sick to my stomach.
Claire was loud and funny, and she made me feel happy. Shannon was quiet and calm and made me feel safe.
“You make me feel safe.” That seemed to confuse him because his brows furrowed together. “You’ll always be safe with me.” “I know.” I splashed him with my hand. “No matter what, right?” “Yeah, Liz,” Hugh chuckled, splashing me back. “No matter what.”
In that moment, I vowed to never sit back and do nothing. I would never be a statue like Mark or incapable like Sadhbh and Keith. For the rest of my life, I would help. I would save people. I would bring them back to life.
That was the thing about me and Hugh: sometimes we never needed to speak at all. We just knew what the other was feeling.
There was always a new name to match a new face to match a new pair of ears that didn’t listen to me.
Because I knew deep down inside that I would sit with Lizzie Young for the rest of my life if it kept the sadness out of her eyes. If it kept her safe.
Lizzie’s like a boomerang. She always comes back to herself.”
“And you are way too special to tick the ‘normal’ box.”
Living was a lot easier when Hugh was nearby. When I was doing my living with him.
“He looks like Thor with his hammer!”
NICKNAME
One of these days, the grown-ups are going to see your true colors, and when that day comes, I’ll be right there to watch your fall from grace.
Claire was always happy and when I spent time with her, I felt happy, too.
“I’m always okay, Gibs.”
his house reminded me of mine, and I didn’t want to be there, either.
:(
That I was tormented by sickening images and horrendous thoughts that made me want to die?
Oh lizzie....
the mere sight of his smug face had my teeth on edge and my upchuck reflex locked, loaded, and ready to blow.
“Because I would kill him before I ever let him hurt you.”
One of my favorite things about Liz was that she matched my enthusiasm for reading. We could easily sit for hours in each other’s company reading, without feeling an ounce of pressure to make awkward conversation because there was never any awkwardness between us.
Because her son was my sun.
Find Shannon, the kind voice in my mind instructed, she makes it go quiet for you.
The friends I could be myself with and not have to worry about being perfectly polished or diplomatic because they accepted the raw, uncensored version of me in the same way I wholly accepted them.
She was my best friend. That’s it.
I was trying to survive and had finally found a way to make it through the days without wanting to die.
oh my baby.
“Who’s a parasitic intruder, Thor?” Liz asked, butting his hip with hers to scoot over. “Who do I need to hurt?” “You would, wouldn’t ya?” Gibs chuckled, shoving over to let her slide onto the seat next to him. “Little viper.”
“If you fart on me again, I will kill you dead,”
AHAHAH
Every part of my body ached, but it was my mind that was truly shaken up. Because it was getting harder and harder to tell the difference between what was real and what was my imagination.
“You telling me who made ya cry, and me fixing it for ya.”
“I’ll be seeing ya, kid.”
not truly comprehending the vow I had taken upon my young shoulders.
Because broken minds like mine were immune.
My sister had screwed up so colossally that she managed to make me look like the good one, something I’d never been accused of before.
“You’ll always be first choice.” “For trips?” “For everything.”
Nothing in this world could trick me into releasing this boy. Not my thoughts. Not my mind. Not my broken pieces. Nothing.
RELEASING 10
The longer we kissed, the more familiar we became with each other.
“Because I’ve been wanting to ask you to be my girlfriend since 1994, and I don’t think I can hold it in another day.”
“I’m sure by the time I reach sixth year, you’ll be ready to graduate.”
damn straight.
So don’t you stand here and tell me that my girlfriend needs anything from a piece of shit like you when you both know you are the worst type of cancer that ever entered her family.”
AHAHAHA TOO GOOD
“Because no matter how happy or sad you feel, I’ll be right here with you.” “You will?” “Every step of the way.”
