“I don’t know if I’m ready for all that,” I said. I felt like I was outside my body, as though I was listening to someone else speaking the words coming from my mouth. “Of course you’re not. No one ever is. Because there’s a responsibility that comes with the privilege.” He licked his lips. “When my little son died, there was nothing I could do to save him. All the things I would have done, would have been overjoyed to do, were meaningless. You can’t imagine the impact of knowing that the most precious thing over which you have full control—your own life—is useless as barter or bribe to save
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