We sat on a hill in the car looking at where the beach met the sea and the rain hit them both and I (quite desperately, quite selfishly) said, drive into the sea with me, just once and it’s done. You drove fast in the opposite direction to a blessed place of broken brick and stone and said ‘this used to be my childhood house’ and then drove me further on further to a purple house safe up on the hillside and said hey, one day this will be home. It wasn’t perfect. It isn’t now. I still have days when I want to exit the system quicker then you can say don’t you dare give up now and you still have
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