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He looks like the sort of man that fate itself would bow to.
Everyone has a limit at which they abandon their own morality, Ophelia Winters, even you.”
“Whatever. She’s not gonna last the month, anyway. Looked terrified at dinner yesterday.” The only thing I thought she looked at dinner yesterday was hot, but I keep that confession quiet.
“He didn’t deserve it.” My shoulders tense. “The date?” “That dress.”
In the nineteen times it’s happened in my head, my first time on top of you didn’t look like this.
I pull her frozen body onto my lap, wrapping her in blankets. “I have you,” I whisper against the dirt on her forehead. “You’re okay.” A quiet sob escapes her lips, her whisper barely audible. Her head leans into me the smallest amount. “I’m cold.” I tighten my arms around her limp frame and don’t intend to ever release them. I feel like I could vomit. “I know. I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
Does she know she matters?
A small smile graces her pinkening lips, and my god, it’s a smile that’s going to ruin my life. It’s a smile I’ll replay in my head each night as I lie in that blissful space between awake and asleep.
When my wayward mind wanders, it staggers back home to her.
The two people stuck inside me can’t decide what they want anymore. Make sweet, gentle love! screams one. Let him break your bed! shouts the other. Traitors.
“Two across. Eight letters. First letter A. The quality of being unpleasantly proud.” “You think I’m arrogant?” I think he’s one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. “Yeah.”
“You got selective hearing, sugar?” I laugh at the nickname, stroking my chin as if deep in thought. “Yeah, and…oh man. It looks like you’ve not been selected. Good luck next time, though.”
“Fine, I want this. I want you. I can’t escape you, Alex. You’re like the sun. I turn away, I look down, but I can still see you reflected in everything at my feet. If I draw the curtains, you slip through the cracks. I can’t fall for the moon instead because it’s you that illuminates it. None of that changes the fact that we just won’t work. You’re not the problem here. It’s me, and things out of my control.”
“It’s you who’s the sun, Ophelia. I am the moon. You keep me in this tortuous cycle, lighting me up for the shortest time before you disappear again and make me invisible.
“If you end up being the death of me, Winters, I couldn’t ask for a better end.”
Someone making you happy is one thing, but seeing the demons in someone’s eyes go quiet when they look at you? It’s something else entirely.
“I have a way of getting what I want, and I really, really, really want you.”
A man’s right hand can only do so much, and Ophelia’s phone camera and Wi-Fi fucking suck. I had to make it work to a frozen screen of her eyebrows last week.
Forget dying for her. I’d live for her.
