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In the nineteen times it’s happened in my head, my first time on top of you didn’t look like this.
“See you around, sugar.”
I don’t even bother trying to look away. I drink in every minute detail like I’m dying and she’s the cure.
I pull her frozen body onto my lap, wrapping her in blankets. “I have you,” I whisper against the dirt on her forehead. “You’re okay.” A quiet sob escapes her lips, her whisper barely audible. Her head leans into me the smallest amount. “I’m cold.” I tighten my arms around her limp frame and don’t intend to ever release them. I feel like I could vomit. “I know. I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”
it’s been a long time since I’ve felt. I’ve known it since I almost ran her over in the car. Since I first watched her swim, since I found out she must be the only person under the age of fifty to wear mittens, since I found out she does puzzles to escape the gray cloud of her own, since I watched her close and reopen the lid of her laptop to try to fix every IT issue under the sun. Since I heard her in her room, laughing and sobbing at a movie in the same thirty-minute period. I could go on forever. I’m obsessed with her. Desperate for her.
She’s everything I’ve been asking the universe for, and she fucking hates me.
“You’re not boring. Not to me. You’ve lost yourself, but I can see you. I agree that you’re complicated. What’s the alternative? That you’re simple?”
Okay yup i love this man
“If there are forks wedged in all the laundry machine filters tomorrow, it wasn’t me.”
“Same goes if you find all your shorts have been turned up another inch tomorrow.”
I love their humor
“I’ve built my walls too high.” “They’re worth the climb.” “They aren’t.” We stop on the mansion steps, his tone soft. “They are. For me, they are.”
No because he is so freaking sweet
“I can’t stay away from you, Ophelia. I’ve never pretended I can.”
“Fine, I want this. I want you. I can’t escape you, Alex. You’re like the sun. I turn away, I look down, but I can still see you reflected in everything at my feet. If I draw the curtains, you slip through the cracks. I can’t fall for the moon instead because it’s you that illuminates it. None of that changes the fact that we just won’t work. You’re not the problem here. It’s me, and things out of my control.”
“If you end up being the death of me, Winters, I couldn’t ask for a better end.”
Thank you for…” Being patient with me. Meeting each of my insecurities with equal kindness. Kissing me. Letting me believe I might be worthy of love. Giving my lonely heart a safe place to rest.
“I have a way of getting what I want, and I really, really, really want you.” Christ, I think I love him.
“Then I’ll love you with the same intensity that you hate me. I’ll hold on to you just as hard as you push me away. I’ll fix you like you’re fixing me. I’ll always be here, Ophelia, I’ll sit at the bottom of valleys and stand on the top of mountains with you. We’re too good not to work.”
I’ve forgotten how good it feels to be loved.
That’s my girl.
Each gentle kiss on my hair mends another crack in my heart. “Wherever you want, love. It’s home if we’re there.”
