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Okay then. So she had really bad taste in men. I’d just have to fix that for her.
Me: It could have been worse. Ari: You kissed someone’s girlfriend in front of a whole arena and got into like ten fights. How could it have been worse? There’s probably an indentation of your ass in the penalty box.
Me: I was making a point, okay? Camden: Oh, we got the point. The point was: “I’m a lunatic.” Loud and clear.
Me: Can we focus? I need facial recognition software. Walker: Why do all of our conversations in this group make me worry that the FBI is going to burst through my door at any moment and take my phone and computer? Ari: Don’t say FBI! That triggers something in the algorithm. That’s when they start stalking you.

