“What’s up?” he asks, groggy. “Were you sleeping?” “I was, yes. Because it’s five in the morning.” “Why did you pick up, then?” “Because you called.” “Okay, listen. I know you didn’t grow up with any digital literacy, so I’ll hold your hand as I say this. But—” “I’m hanging up.” “—there is this magic trick you can do with your phone, which is called silencing your notifications—” “I gave you an emergency bypass.” My
