Problematic Summer Romance (Not in Love, #2)

by Ali Hazelwood

“The rumors have been greatly exaggerated.” Her head tilts. “Rumors of what?” “Everything.” She laughs, musical, a little husky. Shit, I think she might be sexy.

In the weeks since returning from Switzerland, I’ve watched her nearly every day. Which is, according to Minami, “A lot of unpaid labor. Wouldn’t you rather be out partying?” “At eight thirty a.m.?” “Or—I don’t know. Skateboarding? Making prank calls? Engaging in nuclear fission? I don’t know what twentysomethings do these days.”

His scowl deepens. “You can’t.” “Why?” “You know why.” “Ah, yes.” I push back my chair and rise to my feet, which prompts him to do the same. “You’re right. I absolutely do not have the experience or the ability to take care of myself in a foreign country.” I squint. “Wait a minute…”

thought you needed to speak with him very urgently. So urgently, I showed up at your doorstep.” “Correct. And since I wouldn’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate it, I’ve decided to let Eli focus on his Australian deal, and to make do with you. Congratulations—you have been promoted.”

Riveting, all of this. Some real Succession shit. “Would you mind if I asked you approximately two hundred highly unseemly and increasingly intrusive questions about your dysfunctional family? Don’t say yes, please. You already know all about me, after all.”

see. And, do you like your stepmother?” “A lot.” I gasp. “Are you secretly in love with her? Please, say yes. I need this juiciness in my life.”

“Hey, there are usually rowers on the river at this time, on Saturdays. Want me to take you?” He did. We went. Sat on the grass a little off the walkway and criticized the rowers’ form. “I can’t believe the angle of their grip on the paddle,” I said, disgusted. “So amateurish.” Conor turned to me. Took off his sunglasses. “Do you know anything at all about rowing?” “Nope.”

“Lucrezia is very worried about you.” “Is it because I am a…harlot?” “Did you just use the word ‘harlot’?” “I was going to say ‘whore,’ but it didn’t sound churchy enough.”

“You know why. She’s back—and we do not negotiate with her.” I gasp. “She is not back.” Paul moves closer. Looks between us. “She? Who are you talking about?” “The Mayageddon,” Sul whispers. “No,” I protest. “Come on, no. She’s locked in. I was just pointing out that Axel is terribly incompetent and the sole reason we might not win. But like, in a nice, friendly way.” Eli shakes his head. “You kicked sand at Paul, you tripped poor Sul twice—you know he has a bad back—and you nearly destroyed Hark’s ability to have children with your knee.” “I was megging him.”

let out a typical Mayageddon groan and stomp away furiously, brushing past Conor, who holds out his bottle to me. “Have some water. It’ll calm you down.” “No. It’s always water this and water that, but when I try to drink the blood of my enemies—” “Can’t believe I’d forgotten,”

I may have no idea what Nyota does at work, but that’s obviously mutual.

“He’s my brother’s closest friend. And he’s…older.” “How much?” “Fifteen.” “That’s not too bad.” “Says the dude who thought he was my dad.”

“Where does this come from? I thought you were over wanting to use his ‘beautiful rower’s body.’ ” “I didn’t know you were that horny for your best friend’s shoulders, Eli.” “I was quoting you. Directly. I assumed you’d forgotten about him—you haven’t narrated to me all the filthy things you’d want to do to him in explicit detail…in a while, now.” “Should I resume?” “God, no.”

“Fuck them.” He laughs. “Fuck them? Our prematurely dead parents?” “Yeah. Fuck ’em. I love them, I miss them, but they were wrong. I like Rue. Sometimes I even like you.”

“Okay, listen. I know you didn’t grow up with any digital literacy, so I’ll hold your hand as I say this. But—” “I’m hanging up.” “—there is this magic trick you can do with your phone, which is called silencing your notifications—” “I gave you an emergency bypass.” My heart skips so violently, I have to stop. Here, in the middle of a busy sidewalk. “You better take it off, or I’m going to abuse my privileges.” “How about you just don’t, Trouble?” “Doesn’t sound like me, though.

Pull her in for a hug, and don’t bother telling her the truth: That everything Minami had to fight and scrape and beg to learn, every little detail about Conor’s family, I knew already. He told me when we first met in Scotland. He told me over countless late-night phone calls over the past three years. He told me when I asked, and he told me when I didn’t. Because one day, Conor Harkness decided that he wanted someone to know him. And he chose me.

“Color me impressed by your athleticism, old man.” His look is withering. “When my geriatric joints require surgery, I’ll make sure to bill your insurance.” “I’m still on Eli’s, who is on Harkness’s.” I realize something. “Which means that you pay for my birth control. Isn’t that fascinating?” He grunts, noncommittal.

“Just to clear the air,” I whisper, leaning closer, “I’m not really a gerontophile. You’re the only older person I want to have sex with.”