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December 17, 2016 - January 2, 2017
“Champions do ordinary things better than everyone else.”
We focus on these things: -Spending time with Jesus -Putting hearts first -Reading and studying wisdom -Tweeting valuable tools to people all over the world -Finding and writing compelling stories -Creating valuable mp3’s and videos -Breathing life into and encouraging people and their dreams -Sharing
Sharing strategies that have helped us -Modeling what we teach -Sitting at the feet of mentors who have accomplished their dreams -Being authentic -Chasing metaphoric lions Here are some examples of what putting ‘first things first’ looks like for us: • Loving God • Putting people’s hearts first • Loving People • Serving People • Providing Value • Our Health Here are some examples of what putting ‘first things first’ might look like for someone in coaching: • Putting the hearts of those you lead above performance • Focusing 100% of energy on the process • Spending high quality time with family
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“Be faithful in the small things for it is in them that your strength lies.”
“Her research on positivity shows that if your positivity ratio is around 1 to 1 that forecasts clinical depression. If your positivity ratio is around 2 to 1 that forecasts languishing in life. But if your positivity ratio is over 3 to 1 it hits this funny tipping point and it starts to forecast flourishing, regardless of how you define flourishing. It also impacts individuals and teams in a similar way. OH, and she teaches at this little school you might be familiar with, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.”
It all started with WORDS. Words are powerful.
When we were growing up, especially in school, we failed to realize we were building our own house. We were always looking for the quick fix and the easy way out.
We do our best to share what transformed our life and what we wish we would have known back then.
• We have a vested interest in creating and attracting what we believe about the world. If I believe people are fake, I will subconsciously or consciously do things to bring out those behaviors from them to justify my beliefs and say “SEE!!! People are fake!” • It is not whether or not your beliefs are right or wrong. The question you must ask yourself is this: “Is this the most beneficial belief for my life?” • It will take consistent effort and time to change your beliefs, but it is possible over time. • We constantly reinforce our beliefs through the fuel we put in our heart: -What we
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Here is one of Condoleeza Rice’s masterclass videos with only 20k views. Here is the video of an hour long interview with, Warren Buffet and Jay Z, done by Steve Forbes, that has 600k views.
• Who are the five people with whom you spend the majority of your free time? • Which direction are those people pulling you: closer to your dreams or further away from them? • How many of them are living their dreams or at the very least are passionately chasing their dreams? • Who are some people who have accomplished a similar dream to yours that you could start learning from? Remember, they don’t have to be alive, and you don’t necessarily need access to them. You can study them from afar with books and YouTube.
• Value what you have as if it was your dream opportunity, client, relationship, friendship, team, coach, etc… • What opportunities are in your hand that you have been looking past and not valuing? • Who do you need to treat as if they were your dream client? • What is something that the three people you are closest to bring to the table? Give them a specific and sincere compliment. • What could your relationship look like if you consistently treated your significant other as if they were your dream partner?
• List out 5 things that really terrify you right now? Is there any way you can expose yourself to a small dose of those fears? • During the next 5 days notice the moments when you say, “I/we need _________.” Is that actually true? Or is there another way to do something using the resources you do have? • Remember that out of the darkest of days come some of life’s greatest moments.
• In his book, How To Stop The Pain, Dr. James Richards says, “Unforgiveness is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die from it.” • Who do you need to forgive so you can move forward? • Are you spending enough time with people who are living their dreams? • Are you spending enough time studying the strategies of those who have already accomplished your dream? • What is a dream you have had for a very long time? You don’t have to make it your vocation, but what is the smallest sliver of your dream or passion that you can work on right now? • You will have many “yes but’s”
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Do what’s controllable, including prayer, and leave the HOW to HIM.
• What is something you absolutely love to do? o What is your focus when you are doing it? o What is your body language when you are doing it? o What is your self-talk when you are doing it? o What does your facial-expression look like? o Are you operating out of fear or love while doing it? • Now, what is something you hate to do? o What is your focus when you are doing it? o What is your body language when you are doing it? o What is your self-talk when you are doing it? o What does your facial-expression look like? o Are you operating out of fear or love while doing it? • Do this same
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People in coaching: Love and encourage those you lead People playing: Trust your leaders and give your very best Both: Fall in love with the journey
Friday night after Friday night, Kevin was in the gym working on his game. One night the janitor came up to him and said, “Kevin why don’t you ever go out and party with your friends?” Kevin said, “Parties won’t take me where I want to go.”
You have to be willing to work when others party. You have to be willing to suffer when others play. You have to be willing to do what others won’t, so you can do what others can’t. It doesn’t happen by accident.
• If you are thinking about the next level, then you need to realize that there is another level you can operate at right where you are. • Who can you ask about better strategies for training? Where can you find information about the training many of the best in the world do? Hint: books, youtube, and asking good questions! • What is the next step that scares you? What could you do that would put you outside of your comfort zone? Maybe that’s where you should start. • On the other side of your greatest fears lie some of life’s greatest opportunities. • Read In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day
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A lot of times in many contexts in life much of our inability to scratch our potential or play hard is down to the fact that we are comparing rather than competing. Competition is great between people on the same team. Someone beats you and you try harder to improve to play better next time. The Bible talks about this as iron sharpening iron.
Comparison = Better Than Competing = Getting Better
As long as it is competition that refines you, not competition that defines you.
• We need to remember that the measure we use to judge others is the same measure we use to judge ourselves. • If we want to begin worrying less about what other people think of us, we need to practice judging less and loving more. • Your value comes from who you are, not what you do. • In what areas of your life would you, and others around you, benefit from making the shift from comparing to competing? • How can you use the abilities and processes of others as a rubric or pacesetter for becoming who you want to become?
• Recall a situation or experience where you believe the more beneficial thing to do would have been to believe it’s in your best interest. o How would you have carried yourself? o How would you have talked to yourself? o How would you have treated other people? • Identify a situation or context you regularly find yourself in that causes anxiety, anger, or stress. What would be the most beneficial way of carrying yourself in that context today? • Write this statement 5 times: “Anything that happens to me today is in my best interest. It is an opportunity to learn and grow.” • What could your
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• In what ways can you begin to experiment right where you are? • What kind of fear is holding you back from sticking out? • Who do you know who operates outside the box? Study them!
• What makes you extremely mad, overwhelmingly glad, or heartbrokenly sad? Somewhere in there lies your passion. • You don’t need to operate in your passion as a vocation. • The people who are mission-driven and passionate about their work do things with more creativity, more effort, and outlast those who work for an outcome. • How can you operate in your passion right where you are? I know a guy who loves to engage with people and find solutions. Everyday he focuses on those two aspects as he manages a car dealership. It’s not about selling cars. It’s about finding the best vehicle to help
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• What are some words you can use instead of positive? • What are you actually trying to say when you use the word positive? Do you mean encouraging? Do you mean powerful? Do you mean loving? Do you mean going in a beneficial direction? • One exercise that could serve useful is to write out some of the “Do Not Use” words and phrases on a notecard, and then beside it write “Use This Instead” and write out some phrases that are more beneficial.
• What are some areas in your life where you think relentless stubbornness to a single process would benefit you? • What are some of the waves that you will have to endure in the process? • What are some of the things that you will choose to say NO to that will allow you to stand firm?
• What are some of the fundamentals in your discipline? Examples might be: o Golf: setup, grip, balance, ball placement, takeaway, finish, etc. o Leadership: Specific and sincere compliments, read, ask good questions, beneficial body language, etc. o Basketball: communicate loudly, athletic stance, active hands on defense, box out, keep cutting, etc. o Business: read, make calls, communicate clearly, ask good questions of colleagues, listen before speaking, etc.
• Pick a date that is a few months ahead. • What do you have that is challenging in your mind between now and then? • Imagine yourself at that date, reflecting back on how you handled those challenges. How do you hope you will have operated during that time?
Every day we are presented with countless little choices: do I focus on how I look (winning) or do I focus on growth (getting better)?
You didn’t get into God’s family because of your performance, and you won’t get kicked out because of your performance. God chose to love you because of who He is, not because of who you are or what you did, so He’s not going to stop loving you. –Judah Smith
• Where do you find your identity? • Do people in your hometown know you as a basketball player, a golfer, soccer player, actress, consultant, writer, CEO, pastor, coach, or musician? If so, what happens if you lose your ability to participate in those contexts? • Listen to how people are talked about on tv, in the news, and even in the conversations of those you are around most. Do they equate someone’s identity with what they do? • When someone asks you what you do, tell them about things you enjoy doing instead of your profession or education. • I wonder what it would look like if we
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• If you are in leadership, do you know what the dreams are of the people on your team? • Are you making a consistent effort to help the people on your team pursue their dreams? • If you are the one playing or working, have you taken the time to think about what YOUR dream really is? • Are you in the process of chasing someone else’s dream for you? • What is your dream? It’s got to be YOUR dream, YOUR vision for your life. Once you know that, then we can send you out full steam ahead with strategies and tools that will help you move toward fulfilling your potential. But if you don’t know that,
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My hope is I would treat every opportunity as if it was the opportunity of my dreams.
• What are some of the more mundane situations in your day? How are those contexts opportunities to train who you are becoming? • What is not asked of you in your job or team? Can you still choose to be excellent?
• What are some reoccurring situations where you feel resistance and fear welling up? • How are those situations actually opportunities for you to grow? • What can you choose to believe when you feel the fear signal going off? • You can start with small things or jump into giant fears, but making a start at reframing that signal could radically alter the generations to come!
Be encouraged and persevere when you hit the plateaus because you know you are on the path to mastery. Explain it to your team, and most importantly, MODEL it for them in everything you do.
• Talk to yourself instead of listening to yourself. • Ask the question, “What is one thing I can do to make the situation better?” Rather than, “why is this happening to me?” • Live by principles rather than feelings.
• Your choice creates your challenge • You are building your own house • Your choice creates a challenge for those on your team • You will reap what you sow • The grass is greener where you water it • The wise man finds the diamonds on his own land
Use the pain, by Eric Thomas, and Trust in Jesus, by Third Day.
• While we cannot control the thoughts that come into our heads, we can choose whether or not we entertain them. • At the end of your meeting, training, or at the end of the day, evaluate the things you said to yourself. When did you listen to yourself and when did you talk to yourself? • Remember that when training your self-talk, we need to continually become aware of what we are saying and become intentional about changing it. It’s a process!
• What are the dominant contexts in your life where you feel inadequate? • What are the dominant thoughts that run through your head? • Write out three phrases you can say to yourself when those thoughts flood your mind.
• What is your “Can Do” list for today? Writing this out each day is extremely powerful! • Think back to an event or season in your life where you wish you had done things differently. How would you approach that situation now? Chances are there will be a similar situation in the near future.
“At the end of your feelings is nothing. But at the end of every principle is a promise.” –Eric Thomas
Many days we aren’t going to feel like working out and honing our craft. Many days we aren’t going to feel like treating people really really well. Many days we aren’t going to feel like being unconditionally grateful. Many days we aren’t going to feel like giving our very best. But the principle says you are going to reap what you sow. The principle says those who are diligent workers are going to serve kings instead of mere men. The principle says to turn the other cheek. The principle says to seek wise counsel. The principle says to speak life and not death. At the end of our principles
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• As you are reading the remainder of the book, write down principles that you would like to live your life by. • When you wake up, before you enter the meeting, or before you play, write out 4-16 principles that you want to stick to no matter how crazy the situation gets.
“Jamie, do the best you can with what you have right where you are.”
• In what areas of your life do you feel like you fit in because you are afraid to fail? • In what areas of your life do you feel the intense pull to prove yourself? • What are some small things you can begin to do use those contexts as opportunities to learn and grow? Sometimes it’s as simple as saying that you need help!
