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She didn’t leave when I showed my cards, exposed myself. In fact, she came closer.
I don’t know how long we’re tangled there, her in my lap, my hands tracing over the ridges of her spine as I savor every second with her. But when Ezra’s voice booms through the room—“Hey, stop defiling my recording studio, you heathens!”—and we break apart laughing, I realize no amount of time will be enough with Keeley.
I think it’s endearing that Beckett—who was completely and utterly unabashed that my brother saw us locked in an intensely passionate embrace just a minute ago—is now embarrassed that my brother was impressed by his performance.
“I’m really happy right now.” “You look happy as a tiny little clam,” he agrees solemnly. This makes me cackle.
Now, Beckett shifts in his seat, stretching his chest and the arm that was around me. It hits me that he must have been sitting stock still while I used him as a pillow, bearing through being uncomfortable so as to not wake me. The realization of this is… well, nothing short of butterfly-inducing.
I smile at the memory of her sleeping on my chest earlier, making little snuffling sounds as she dreamt, and I etch it into my mind so I can remember it forever.
“You make her happy. Remember that,” she says softly in my ear as she pulls away. The words wash over me. Keeley makes me happy, too. Beyond compare. So much so that I’m considering literally changing my life for her. And the thought doesn’t scare me.
Beckett threads his fingers through mine. “Wanna ride the Ferris wheel?” He grins at me. “I hear it’s very romantic and cozy and hardly anyone has thrown up on it this year.” “Dream date, right here,” I tell him, but my heart clenches a little behind my smile. I’m totally fine.
Beckett smiles at me like I’m the center of the entire universe. “Why doesn’t that surprise me for a second?” “Because you know me,” I say with a snort-hiccup-cry-laugh, and he draws me close.
If there’s one rule for the entire island of Ireland, it’s that a cup of tea is appropriate in all circumstances and can cure most ailments, up to (and sometimes including) murder. Cold? Warm up with some tea. Heartbroken? Sure, tea will cheer you up. Committed a heinous crime against humanity? Whack the kettle on.
“Also, what makes you think I’ve been kissing the girl next door?” “Because you light up like a bloody blowtorch every time you talk about her,” Callan says.
“Catch yourself on!” Aoife cries. “You’ve been walking around for the past two years with a face like a slapped arse on you, and the second you met this girl, you’re suddenly grinning from ear to ear like the Joker.”
Mam glares at me. “Hush with that. We don’t need you to be here to take care of us, Beckett. We just need you to be happy. And this Keeley clearly makes you happy.”
“Of course that’s not enough! Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a commitment. A decision. Something you need to fight for. You can’t just sit there on your laurels, you need to fight for her, son! Don’t run away. Stand strong and fight for what fate has put in your path. The gift of love that’s been given to you. Don’t let history repeat itself.”
I love Keeley. I want to be with Keeley. I choose Keeley. And I’m going to do everything in my power to show her that. To fight for what I know we have.
“But how did you know that? How did you know she’d love you and never leave?” He stares at me for a minute, and a flicker shoots through his eyes that I’ve never seen before. He looks… pained. “Jeez, Keels. When you said earlier that you and Beckett were over, I thought it had to do with you and Andrew breaking up so recently and you being gun-shy to jump into a new relationship, especially one with complications given where you both live. But this is about Mom, isn’t it?”
“Mom made a bad choice. And Noeleen made a choice, too. And sure, it worked out in the end for everyone, but it didn’t have to work out that way. Fate brought her and our Gramps together for a time, or whatever it was she said in the letter. But to make it work past that, they both had to choose each other.”
“If Beckett is telling you that he’s choosing you, you have the option to choose him back, instead of just leaving him before he can leave you. Because if you live your whole life that way, sure you might have a bunch of happy memories at the end of it… but you’ll be remembering them alone.
I’m going to cut that lifeline and let myself truly fall. And instead of constantly bracing for impact, I’ll live in the knowledge that whatever the cost, I’ve made the right decision for me. For us. Beckett deserves no less in life than to be loved unconditionally. And you know what? Neither do I.
“I’m trying to make a statement! Profess my undying love!” I throw my arms out to accentuate my point. Which, in combination with my current under-eye bags and bedhead, makes me look not unlike Becks’s beloved banshee.
Throw myself through the doors… and promptly run into something hard. Not again, I think as I fall forward, weightless for a moment before— “I’ve got you, Keeley,” comes Beckett’s achingly familiar and comforting voice as his arms circle around me, catching me mid-fall.
“Because fate can only do so much! The building can only do so much!” I’m yelling. Probably sound half-frantic. And I don’t care. “But I can choose to do the rest. To make the right choice. And I choose you, Becks. I choose to stick with you. Get stuck with you. Over everything, I pick you. Whatever that looks like. Wherever this goes or whatever ends up happening, I’m not going to run away. I’m going to face my fears.”
I trail off. Because he’s laughing at me. The jerk is laughing at me… again. “It’s not funny! I love you!” He smiles a smile brighter than a thousand burning suns. “I love you too, Keeley, but I think we can pump the brakes for a second on all your grand plans. I’m not leaving for the airport. I was just going upstairs.”
“But I need you to understand something. Nothing about this could ever be your fault, because my decision to stay here is just that—mine. I’ve decided to stay of my own accord. Not because I felt obligated, and not because of anything you could or would potentially do. I’m staying because I want to be here with you. Forget fate, forget what’s meant to be or not meant to be… because I choose you, no strings, no conditions. Just love for you.”
“You were never going to be easy to leave, Keeley,” I tell her with conviction. “In fact, you were never going to be possible to leave. You’re my home now.”
What’s for you won’t pass you, Beckett’s Gran used to say. But we also work hard not to let it pass us. Because that’s what real love does—it holds on, holds tight, and holds true.
