Rubyfruit Jungle

by Rita Mae Brown

You might say that oppression sells.

Mothers and aunts tell us about infancy and early childhood, hoping we won’t forget the past when they had total control over our lives and secretly praying that because of it, we’ll include them in our future.

Leroy bet me I couldn’t find a pot of gold at the end, and I told him that was a stupid bet because the rainbow was enough.

You have to do some of the things everybody does or people don’t like you.” “I don’t care whether they like me or not. Everybody’s stupid, that’s what I think. I care if I like me, that’s what I truly care about.” “Now that’s the damndest dumb thing I ever heard. Everybody likes themself. Fact, Florence says you got to learn not to like yourself so much and like other people.” “Since when have you started listening to Florence? I can’t like anybody if I don’t like myself. Period.” “Molly, you are flat-out crazy. Everybody likes themself, I am telling you.”

You damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead, kid; don’t listen to nobody but your own self.”

You haven’t got a heart, Faysie, only a pericardium.”

Come over here and sleep with me. I promise not to be a non-lesbian.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say I was gay. I’d just say I was enchanted.”

The wine went directly to Polina’s tongue and she told me how freaked out she was and how secretly she thought lesbianism attracted and frightened every woman, because every woman could be a lesbian, but it was all hidden and unknown.

Miami Beach where the geriatric generation buys sequined colostomy bags to match their shoes.

Amphibians must think we’re inferior creatures since we can’t go in and out of the water the way they can. Besides being biologically superior, that ole frog is more together than I am. That frog doesn’t want to make movies. That frog hasn’t even seen movies and furthermore that frog doesn’t give a big damn. It just swims, eats, makes love, and sings as it pleases. Whoever heard of a neurotic frog? Where do humans get off thinking they’re the pinnacle of evolution?