The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Fred, the Vampire Accountant, #1)

by Drew Hayes

“So, when did you die anyway?” she asked. I started to choke on my omelet, then remembered I didn’t need to breathe. I swallowed the lump down slowly. “I have no idea what you mean.” “Sure you do. You’re a vampire.”