The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Fred, the Vampire Accountant, #1)

by Drew Hayes

Yes, gaining two undead servants would have some use to us, but nowhere near as great as ownership of an agent. The potential gain is simply not great enough to justify the potential loss.” “Well, if it sweetens the pot any, I do own my own accounting agency. Maybe I could be used to help with the books,” I said in desperation. It was a stupid long shot. I was under no illusions that the dracolings would actually find a vampire a more desirable bet because he was an accountant. As it turned out, I was dead wrong in that assumption. It was like I’d jolted each of the dracolings with electricity, the way they reacted when I mentioned the word “accounting.” “You are . . . an accountant?” Morgan asked. “Um, yes. I run my own business out of my apartment, and I do pretty good work,” I said. “Do you know how difficult it is to find a parahuman that is both capable and willing to balance books?” Morgan asked me again. “I’m sure there are plenty of humans who are glad for the work,” I said. “Humans, bah!” Morgan said. “Due to secrecy agreements in our treaties, we can never reveal to them what we are, so any expenses incurred that relate to our nature must be hidden from them, forcing us to do the work ourselves.”