The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Fred, the Vampire Accountant, #1)

by Drew Hayes

You will eventually discover that under the movie stereotypes, imposed mystique, and overall inflated expectations, each and every one of us is at least a touch more boring than our images would indicate. And that is not a bad thing. —Fredrick Frankford Fletcher

And there it was. My unlife was so boring that even the woman who hunted monsters saw me as harmless.

Her voice was high and squeaky, peppered with levels of enthusiasm attainable only by children and drug addicts.

Cats might always land on their feet. However, the same cannot be said for accountants.

I missed the days when I would silently judge seemingly crazy people in a park, instead of being one of them.