The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Fred, the Vampire Accountant, #1)

by Drew Hayes

Grwlbrkgrwl (Look, I’m doing my best to be accurate here, but if you know a way to transcribe a name whose pronunciation sounds like nails in a garbage disposal, I’d love to see it),

My unlife was so boring that even the woman who hunted monsters saw me as harmless.

A lesser man might have objected to the woman taking the wheel on such a long journey. A lesser man would also have been a stupider man, and one with a severe crotch injury to boot.

There was no way I would let these bastards know I was shaking in my comfortable brown loafers.

Today, the only cavalry we had was a werepony, a bumbling zombie, and a chickenshit vampire.