The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant (Fred, the Vampire Accountant, #1)

by Drew Hayes

Dedication This book is dedicated to the uncool, uncoordinated, unexceptional, uncharming, uninteresting, and especially the unashamed. To everyone from the Awkwards to the Zeroes, living as the proud oddballs they are. This book is dedicated to my people.

You will eventually discover that under the movie stereotypes, imposed mystique, and overall inflated expectations, each and every one of us is at least a touch more boring than our images would indicate. And that is not a bad thing.

“Before we begin, I just want to go over the rules on your sheets, so that everyone knows the system and we can all have fun. To start with, we do not do realistic battle simulations here. I saw some of you bring your foam weapons, but, unfortunately, we’ve had some lawsuit trouble in the past and have decided it’s not worth the risk. Any fighting will be resolved by a match of rock-paper-scissors.