First, “This is hard.” This is an objective statement about the situation. It’s an acknowledgement of the difficulty and depth of the pain. Second, “I know you feel that way.” We communicate that we see and recognize their emotions, acknowledging their felt reality. Third, “I’m with you in this.” This is gospel presence, and it includes some measure of emotion-sharing, but without necessarily endorsing or affirming all that they are experiencing. By sharing the emotions of the afflicted (including their negative and painful emotions), we seek to build connection, to build trust, to cross the
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