More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
For the ones who fight even when they want to give up. I’m rooting for you. (And for the readers who love a hockey player that wears slutty glasses… Riley is for you)
He smells like stale beer and rotten cheese, and it’s impossible not to gag. I need to get laid, but I’m not that desperate.
“Do you always touch random women without their permission?” I ask. “Or am I just lucky?” “You’re hot.” “I know I am.”
I wish I had the balls of a mediocre white man who thinks he’s hot shit. I’d be unstoppable.
“I bet I could be your type,” he says in some last-ditch effort to keep me hanging around. “And I bet you couldn’t find my clit even if I pointed it out to you,”
I’m not supposed to have a favorite player on the team—and I love all the guys I work with—but Riley takes the top spot.
“Don’t party too hard.” “I’m a good boy, Lex,” he tosses back. “You don’t have to worry about me.”
He’s joining my other friends who are settling down, and I don’t know when everyone on the team went from perpetually single playboys to blissfully betrothed.
“Hey, sugar,” she purrs, and I should be embarrassed by how easily I blush. I can’t help it. She’s attractive. Out of this world sexy with her long, toned legs and sly grin. I’m pretty sure I’ve had heart eyes for her since the minute we met, but I’ve never tried to cross that line. I’m twenty-six. She’s thirty-two. She’s the team’s trainer, and I don’t want people to assume she got her job because a player called in a favor. I’m quiet; she’s loud. The life of every party and vivacious as hell with witty comebacks and a laugh that would bring any man to his knees. And if it were me down there,
...more
“I don’t have a death wish, but you might because the one who’s not giving you any attention? That’s my wife, and I don’t like when people touch what isn’t theirs. Any other questions?”
“I do something bad, then he punishes me.” Christ. She’s always flirty, but it never means anything. I wish that line did, even if admitting it would get me in a world of trouble.
“And almost having an orgy with Riley.” “Yeah?” Maverick turns his chin my way. “Did you tell him about the dream you had? The one with me, him, Hud—” “You’re cut off, Miller.” Emmy puts a hand over his mouth. Her red cheeks match her hair. “One more word and you’re on the couch tonight.” He folds his fingers around her wrist and pulls her hand away. “A fair punishment, but if you’re going to invite anyone in from the team, Mitchy and Huddy Boy are the only two I’d be okay with.”
“I’m great. I don’t like to be rescued, but I don’t mind being a damsel in distress if it means getting saved by a guy like you.” She looks me up and down, and it’s mortifying how hot my skin is. I’m pathetic.
I might be bordering on lonely, but I draw the line at hearing my friends have sex with their significant others. I deal with that enough during the season thanks to thin hotel walls, and I’m not in the mood to listen to orgasm after orgasm when I’m not on the receiving—or giving—end of one.
“Life is short. We need to celebrate the small stuff.” Lamar shifts the car into drive, and we take off down the road. “Otherwise, what’s the point of living?”
“Wow. That was smooth. What are you doing after this, Seth?” “Seeing if I can find your clit better than that guy could.” I throw my head back and laugh. I like his energy. I bet he likes to have a good time in the bedroom, and I love when a guy is both hot and funny. “How long until you get off?” “With you, it’ll probably only take me a few minutes.”
An endless cycle of being angry at everything while also grieving the life I’ll never get back.
It feels good when you’re not hurting, and all I do these days is hurt.
“No one expects you to be okay. You almost died. You lost a part of yourself, and you’re never going to get it back.”
I thought I was losing my mind at first, but the noises turned out to be my teammates—again, according to my mom. They sit in the living room for five, six hours. Sometimes there are hushed conversations. Sometimes I hear video games being played on my TV. Other times—most times—it’s quiet. They don’t try to get me to come out, but I know they’re there. And it makes me cry into my pillow.
“I know you’re feeling hopeless, and you might be thinking—” “I’m not.” I swallow. “That’s a lie. I have. I was. But I’m not anymore.”
“Kids.” I snort. “That implies someone is going to want to fall in love with this.” I gesture up and down my body. All of that—dating, friendships—seems like a far-off dream. “I’m a mangled and messed up piece of a human.” “That’s what love is, Riley. No one ever said it was easy.” “Easy.” I stare out the window at the people living their lives while I’m over here having an existential crisis. Teetering on the edge of a breakdown. “I don’t think anything is going to be easy for me again.”
I’m eager to show him how good I am at my job so I can say see? Anything boys can do, girls can do better.
I can’t imagine the weight he’s carrying. To have something you love ripped out from under you is heartbreaking, but to lose a physical part of yourself too? It’s unfathomable.
“She wasn’t finished speaking,” Riley says, deathly low. The look in his eye is murderous. A shiver races up my spine when he curls his fingers into a fist. My cheeks turn bright red when he stares at my boss and tilts his head to the side. “And her name is Lexi. L-e-x-i. That’s not difficult, is it? Treat her with respect and get it right, or I’m leaving.” Holy shit. I think I need to get my head checked, because that outburst was the hottest display of emotion I’ve ever seen in my goddamn life.
The romance books I read are right: having a guy turn a little unhinged and defend your honor is sexy as hell.
Riley draws in a breath. His bottom lip quivers before he drops his eyes to the table. When he pushes his glasses up his nose again, I see faded cuts on the back of his hands and the marks near his wrist that are turning to scars. God. I want to hug him.
I’m not interested in working with someone who isn’t familiar with my body.” Familiar with his body sounds entirely too intimate for what I do, but I am familiar with his body.
I know so much about him, but looking at him now makes me think I don’t know him at all. Who could ever pretend to know what he’s gone through?
“I’ll do my best,” I say, his ask making my soul ache.
“I hate living like this, so I want to be able to handle it. But I’m not sure I’m going to be able to.”
Do you want me to kiss your ass?” I blush and dip my chin. There are a lot of things I’d like Lexi to do to me—with me and for me too—and none of them are appropriate for the workplace. I’ve had a crush on her for goddamn years, but I guess I need to start getting over my attraction to her. We’re going to be in close quarters together. She’s going to see me when I’m vulnerable and incapable of performing in certain areas of my training, and I’ve always hated failing. And failing in front of a beautiful girl? No fucking thanks. Plus, from what I’ve overheard from her conversations with friends,
...more
“Sit all the way up, please. And put your hands behind you.” “At least buy me dinner first, Lex.” “Oh, Mitchy.” She grins. “Don’t tell the others, but you’re my favorite.”
Me I was tired. Coach I’m tired every fucking day of my life.
The finish line is closer than you think.”
The amount of times this sport has saved my ass, even after breaking my heart, is astronomical,”
“Mitchy,” he calls out, jumping to his feet. “I have an awkward question for you.” “No, I will not get a dick piercing to match yours,” I answer, and Grant snickers. “Not my style.” “If you ever change your mind, I’ll give you the name of my guy. He does good work.” “Never going to change my mind. What’s up?”
“Looking at her ass can’t hurt,” Ethan says, and I kick him. “Ow, you fucker. It was a joke.” “Don’t talk about her ass. And don’t include her in any of your jokes,”
“Water for me,” Maverick says. “I’m back on my no-drinking plan.” “Because the season is starting?” Ethan scoffs. “Weak. You used to be a party boy, Miller.” “And now I’m in future dad mode. Emmy is trying to get pregnant, and imagining her carrying my baby is the hottest thing in the fucking world. It means giving up alcohol, and I’m glad to do it.”
“Hey. I’m not here for a long time, so I’m going to eat the foods that make me happy. That includes a massive grilled cheese and a side of fries that are better than any orgasm I’ve ever had. You know what they say: fries over guys.”
“A marathon and Pilates? Do you only like sports that kick your ass? Have you tried bowling? Table tennis?” “They make me feel invincible, and I want to be ready to fight the patriarchy if society collapses.”
“It’s also fun to be better than men at things. Running and Pilates put everyone on an even playing field.”
“I have this flaw where I want to make everyone happy. If I could read their minds, I’d figure out how to do that. On the flip side, I’d probably learn things about them I don’t want to know.” “It’s impossible to make everyone happy.” “I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t try.”
My best friends are better than any dude.”
Emmy I support it. Everyone deserves the chance to get off.
“I want you to give me my right leg back so I don’t have to be humiliated day after day after fucking day.” I wish I fucking could, because seeing you so mad at the world hurts, I almost shout.
Men come and go. Love is fleeting, and I don’t believe in romantic soulmates. I believe in platonic ones though, and these girls are mine.
“Men have one-night stands all the time, and they’re considered kings of the world,” Maven chimes in. “When women have sex with multiple people, we’re considered sluts. Why? Why is there such a double standard?” “I could write a thesis on that question,” I say. “I’m convinced it comes down to the power dynamic. A lot of men have a problem with powerful women, and women who are in touch with their sexuality are powerful. It’s all bullshit if you ask me.”
“I love that you do what you want,” Madeline says. “I respect your extracurricular activities, and I hope you’re getting the best dick of your life.”
“To incredible women. To friendships. To a special love no man will ever give us.”
