The thought races through me, and I have to grip the table to steady myself. I take a deep breath, the culmination of the last eight months playing in my mind like a movie, and I see it there. In the doughnuts on my desk and his mumbled curses when I give him a difficult exercise to do. In a rooftop pool at a Chicago hotel, no one in the world but us, and his confession to me about how he wanted to end his life. It’s also in the times when he’d hook his pinky around mine before he took the ice in his nice suits. When he’d throw me over his shoulder then toss me on the bed. The nights when he’d
...more
