He Who Fights with Monsters: Book Twelve (He Who Fights with Monsters, #12)

by Shirtaloon

ladies respond to.” “Are you getting interested in women?” “Ick, no. Wait, do I get to eat them?” “No!” “Then definitely not.” “Please don’t go around eating women.” “You’re saying that I can eat men?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay.” “Okay?” “I said okay,” Colin insisted while Jason stared at him with suspicion. “Colin.” “Yes?” “You can’t eat gender fluid and non-binary people either.” “Oh, come on. It’s like you don’t want me to eat anyone.” “You can eat monsters.” “What about people who attack us? You want me to not help in fights until I make sure they aren’t on the list of things I’m not allowed to eat?” “Look, if it comes to a fight, you can… nibble.” “Nibble?” “Yeah. Nibble.” “So, I can eat bits of people?” “Bad people. In a fight.” “That sounds like a double standard.” “It’s about context. It’s like how, in everyday life, I don’t get to stab people. But in a fight, I’m allowed to stab people. So, when we get in a fight with people, that’s when you’re allowed to, you know… eat them a little bit.” “So, if I start a fight, I can eat people?” “No starting fights. And if a fight does happen, you can only eat them a little bit. No fully eating people.” “Not ever?” “Maybe if they’re already dead. And they really sucked. Or it’s really important you rebuild your biomass immediately.” “This is all too complicated,” Colin said. “It sounds like you’re making it up as you go along.” “That would be accurate, yes,” Jason acknowledged. “See, this is the problem,” Colin said. “The ladies...