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by
Shirtaloon
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July 10 - October 15, 2025
What kind of idiot worships things that died already? If you can’t worship it while it’s still alive, move on, stupid!
Apparently, Rufus’ family runs a school, and Lindy went to teach there. She talks a lot, but lets me steal biscuits, sometimes, so I think she’s a good teacher. She and Stella have been going into their room a lot, like Humphrey and Sophie. What are all these people doing? Neil said that I would figure it out when I wanted to have an egg, which makes no sense. I have eggs for breakfast every day.
“Allow me to share some wisdom in advance that, with time, will doubtlessly spread across the cosmos: when Mr Asano says things you do not understand, do not ask questions.” “Wouldn’t that mean you sometimes miss information which is important to know?” “That price, Lady Raythe, is entirely worth paying.”
I thought the UN’s job was to ask people to stop violating human rights, and then get sad when they say no.”
“BLEED FOR ME.”
“YOUR BLOOD IS NOT YOURS TO KEEP, BUT MINE ON WHICH TO FEAST.”
“MINE IS THE JUDGEMENT, AND THE JUDGEMENT IS DEATH.”
The process of killing off anything that had survived the blood draining was accompanied by fresh howls of intense agony. Nigel looked up at the eye, once more blue and orange. By the time the shining rain stopped falling, there were no more howls and no more whimpers. Nigel was the only thing alive in a silent city.
“When you have so much power that you can solve most of the old problems,” he said, “you realise that it’s the fundamental things that really matter.”
“You don’t want glory?” “I’ve had glory. It’s an empty thing. The time it cost me with my friends and my family are among my greatest regrets.”
Lorenn nodded contemplatively. “Yes, I suppose I do. But surely there is something we can do for you.” “Open a good sandwich shop.”
“You should make some tweaks,” Colin suggested, pointing up and down at the body. “You could change that part.” “You just pointed at the whole thing,” Jason said. “I know where I was pointing.” “You do realise you look exactly like it?” “Yeah, but I make this look good. It’s about how you inhabit the body. Gravitas. You wouldn’t understand.” Jason gave his familiar a flat look.
ladies respond to.” “Are you getting interested in women?” “Ick, no. Wait, do I get to eat them?” “No!” “Then definitely not.” “Please don’t go around eating women.” “You’re saying that I can eat men?” “Absolutely not.” “Okay.” “Okay?” “I said okay,” Colin insisted while Jason stared at him with suspicion. “Colin.” “Yes?” “You can’t eat gender fluid and non-binary people either.” “Oh, come on. It’s like you don’t want me to eat anyone.” “You can eat monsters.” “What about people who attack us? You want me to not help in fights until I make sure they aren’t on the list of things I’m not allowed
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“Mr Asano,” Shade interjected. “Could I, perchance, make a request?” “Of course,” Jason said. “What do you need?” “For this conversation to end before all two hundred and eleven of my bodies decide to destroy themselves rather than continue listening to it.”
“Mr Asano,” Shade said. “Perhaps before we engage with the topic of lunch, you should engage with the topic of pants.”
“Do you ever get sick of being right, Shade?” “I have made my own mistakes, Mr Asano. You just don’t notice with the frequency and magnitude of your own.”
“I am disappointed in the one that allows me to turn my shadow bodies into transport. Now that it allows Colin and Gordon to alter a vehicle I create, I just know they’re going add…” The shadow creature shuddered. “…colours.”
“Actually, Carlos, that’s already in the works. If it’s been a while, you might want to go say g’day to your god, though. He might think you’ve ghosted him.” “My god does not think I’ve abandoned him.” “I don’t know, mate. Someone doesn’t hear from you in a while, they start to worry. Get insecure. Did something happen to Carlos? Is he alright? Has he been hanging out with other gods? I knew I saw him looking at the temple of Lust, and he says he wasn’t, but I know what—” “With all due respect, Mr Asano, please go away.” “Fair enough.”
I am afraid, however, that anyone sufficiently powerful or attentive will notice, unless you completely retract your aura and don’t speak. As the former is not practical, and the latter isn’t possible, I’m afraid that anonymity will be difficult. On the positive side, that’s not much of a change.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” “Mr Asano, the Adventure Society crafted an entire new identity for you and you immediately revealed it to almost everyone you met.” “There were extenuating circumstances.” “Such as not being bothered to try very hard?”