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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Marie Kondō
Read between
June 23 - June 25, 2023
Tidying is just a tool, not the final destination.
Putting things away creates the illusion that the clutter problem has been solved. But sooner or later, all the storage units are full, the room once again overflows with things, and some new and “easy” storage method becomes necessary, creating a negative spiral. This is why tidying must start with discarding.
Tidying up by location is a fatal mistake.
When we tidy each place separately, we fail to see that we’re repeating the same work in many locations and become locked into a vicious circle of tidying. To avoid this, I recommend tidying by category. For example, instead of deciding that today you’ll tidy a particular room, set goals like “clothes today, books tomorrow.”
Effective tidying involves only two essential actions: discarding and deciding where to store things. Of the two, discarding must come first.
As you continue to explore the reasons behind your ideal lifestyle, you will come to a simple realization. The whole point in both discarding and keeping things is to be happy. It may seem obvious, but it is important to experience this realization for yourself and let it sink into your heart. Before you start tidying, look at the lifestyle you aspire to and ask yourself, “Why do I want to tidy?” When you find the answer, you are ready to move on to the next step: examining what you own.
Why? Because we should be choosing what we want to keep, not what we want to get rid of.
I came to the conclusion that the best way to choose what to keep and what to throw away is to take each item in one’s hand and ask: “Does this spark joy?” If it does, keep it. If not, dispose of it. This is not only the simplest but also the most accurate yardstick by which to judge.
Gathering every item in one place is essential to this process because it gives you an accurate grasp of how much you have.
The process of deciding what to keep and what to discard will go much more smoothly if you begin with items that are easier to make decisions about.
The best sequence is this: clothes first, then books, papers, komono (miscellany), and lastly, mementos.
In fact, that particular article of clothing has already completed its role in your life, and you are free to say, “Thank you for giving me joy when I bought you,” or “Thank you for teaching me what doesn’t suit me,” and let it go.
To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose. To get rid of what you no longer need is neither wasteful nor shameful. Can you truthfully say that you treasure something buried so deeply in a closet or drawer that you have forgotten its existence?
“Does this spark joy?”
The Japanese word for healing is te-ate, which literally means “to apply hands.”
The criterion is, of course, whether or not it gives you a thrill of pleasure when you touch it.
In the end, you are going to read very few of your books again. As with clothing, we need to stop and think about what purpose these books serve.
“Just because.” Many items within the home are treated in the same way. They are placed, stored, and accumulate “just because,” without our giving them much thought. I call this category komono, a Japanese term that the dictionary defines variously as “small articles; miscellaneous items; accessories; gadgets or small tools, parts, or attachments; an insignificant person; small fry.”
“Thank you for the boost you gave me when I bought you,” or “Thank you for helping me get a little more fit.” Then discard them with the conviction that you are healthier for having bought them.
In the boxes, she had found a diary, photographs of old boyfriends, a mountain of letters and New Year’s cards, and more. “I was just fooling myself by sending the things I couldn’t bear to part with to my parents. When I looked at each item again, I realized that I had lived those moments to the fullest and I was able to thank my keepsakes for the joy they gave me at the time. When I threw them away, I felt like I was confronting my past for the first time in my life.” That’s right. By handling each sentimental item and deciding what to discard, you process your past. If you just stow these
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If you are keeping them because you can’t forget a former boyfriend, it’s better to discard or donate them. Hanging on to them makes it more likely that you will miss opportunities for new relationships.
It is not our memories but the person we have become because of those past experiences that we should treasure. This is the lesson these keepsakes teach us when we sort them. The space in which we live should be for the person we are becoming now, not for the person we were in the past.
As for toilet paper, the record stock so far is eighty rolls. “I have loose bowels you see … I run out very quickly,” was the client’s excuse. But even if she used one roll a day, she had at least a three months’ supply. I’m not sure she could have used up one roll a day even if she spent all day wiping her bottom, and by that time her bottom would have been rubbed raw. It made me wonder whether I should be giving her skin cream rather than lessons in cleaning.
I can’t count how many times people have complained to me that they don’t have enough room, but I have yet to see a house that lacked sufficient storage. The real problem is that we have far more than we need or want. Once you learn to choose your belongings properly, you will be left only with the amount that fits perfectly in the space you currently own.
Clutter is caused by a failure to return things to where they belong. Therefore, storage should reduce the effort needed to put things away, not the effort needed to get them out.
Clutter has only two possible causes: too much effort is required to put things away or it is unclear where things belong.
By eliminating excess visual information that doesn’t inspire joy, you can make your space much more peaceful and comfortable. The difference this makes is so amazing it would be a waste not to try it.
“Up to now, I believed it was important to do things that added to my life, so I took seminars and studied to increase my knowledge. But through your course on how to put my space in order, I realized for the first time that letting go is even more important than adding.”
The lives of those who tidy thoroughly and completely, in a single shot, are without exception dramatically altered.
As you can see from her testimony, one of the magical effects of tidying is confidence in your decision-making capacity. Tidying means taking each item in your hand, asking yourself whether it sparks joy, and deciding on this basis whether or not to keep it.
But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.
A person who has a strong attachment to the past, on the other hand, finds it hard to move on to a new relationship because she can’t forget the boyfriend she broke up with two years ago. She also finds it hard to try out new methods even when the current method is no longer effective because it worked up to this point.
The best way to find out what we really need is to get rid of what we don’t. Quests to faraway places or shopping sprees are no longer necessary. All you have to do is eliminate what you don’t need by confronting each of your possessions properly.
There are three approaches we can take toward our possessions: face them now, face them sometime, or avoid them until the day we die. The choice is ours. But I personally believe it is far better to face them now.
Life becomes far easier once you know that things will still work out even if you are lacking something.
I believe that tidying is a celebration, a special send-off for those things that will be departing from the house, and therefore I dress accordingly.
In essence, tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance among people, their possessions, and the house they live in.
