“You and me. We’re married.” “I know.” “We’re husbands. And it’s legal, like, everywhere! Except a few countries in Africa and Asia. I don’t know, we’ll have to check. But in a hundred and fifty-something countries, I am now your legal partner.” “I know,” I say again. “Well, then pardon my fucking French, but why are you not more freaked out right now? Why are you so fucking calm? You’re like Frosty the fucking Snowman over there. Meanwhile, I’m Elsa, totally out of control, just turning everything to ice with my chaos fingers!” He wiggles his fingers like he’s doing magic, and my brow furrows
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