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I want to step closer. I want him to hold me again. But that would be crazy, right? I don’t even know this guy. I’m just a chaotic double Pisces who gets his life saved by a beautiful man and immediately fights the toxic urge to ask, “Your place or mine?”
I feel you bro
“Who even is this guy?” one of the new faces asks. Novy rounds on him. “This guy? How ’bout you watch your fucking tone, Bouch. This is Doctor Teddy O’Connor. We call him Teddy of the Golden Hands, because he’s fucking magical. He gives the best damn leg massages I’ve ever had.” Langley and a few of the other older guys laugh. “I’m gonna tell Morrow you said that,” Langley teases. Novy shows no fear. “Go ahead. Hell, I’ll tell him myself. I’ll text him right now. That’ll make my fucking night.”
“Right. Well, I think we’re done here—” “No!” He grabs the hem of my T-shirt as I try to back away. “Come on, Doc, please. I’ll be so good for you. I won’t say another word, I swear.” I grimace. “See, it still feels like you’re talking about sex—” “Well, what can I do?” He sits up. “You wanna gag me so I can’t talk? Would that make you more comfortable?” I narrow my eyes. “You hear it, right? When you say the words, you’re hearing it?”
God I love Novy
“No, we won’t see any polar bears in Stockholm.” I grin, leaning over in my seat. “But, I mean, never say never, right? There are polar bears in Sweden, right?” “Not since the last ice age.” “That actually makes me kinda sad.” He’s quiet for a moment, his lips pursed as he considers. “Yeah. Me too.”
“Yeah, Karlsson. I’ll marry you.” I give his hand a grateful squeeze, relief flooding me. “In that case, it’s probably best you start calling me Henrik.”
Me and Henrik. Teddy O’Connor, hopelessly romantic double Pisces with boundary issues and a near-pathological need to please. And Henrik Karlsson, strong and silent Swedish hockey star who never says three words if none will do. We’re getting married. Today. Now.
“I need your passport.” Fumbling, I put my pinging phone back into my pocket as I try to extract my passport at the same time. “Sure. Here it is. Need me to fill out my own form? I can help.” He raises a brow. “Do you read Swedish?” “Shoot, not on Tuesdays,” I reply lamely.
“You and me. We’re married.” “I know.” “We’re husbands. And it’s legal, like, everywhere! Except a few countries in Africa and Asia. I don’t know, we’ll have to check. But in a hundred and fifty-something countries, I am now your legal partner.” “I know,” I say again. “Well, then pardon my fucking French, but why are you not more freaked out right now? Why are you so fucking calm? You’re like Frosty the fucking Snowman over there. Meanwhile, I’m Elsa, totally out of control, just turning everything to ice with my chaos fingers!” He wiggles his fingers like he’s doing magic, and my brow furrows
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“Are you fucking kidding me?” I glance around, looking for the source of his displeasure. “What’s wrong?” He points. “There’s only one bed.” I shrug. “I told you it was a tight fit.” Groaning, he rubs two fingers at his temple. “Okay, you’re gonna have to stop saying the words ‘tight fit’ to me, like, yesterday.” “What?”
“Wow.” “What?” “Oh, nothing.” I sit forward with another tired groan. “A noise from you is always something. What does the ‘wow’ mean?” He dares to roll his eyes at me. “Okay, it means, ‘Wow, I had no idea you were a fourth-degree black belt in compartmentalization.’ I suspected it, obviously. But this is off the freaking charts, even for you.” “What?” “Henrik, you’ve put literal living in a box. And apparently that box stays in Sweden. So, this place is . . . what? Where you just power down like a robot? Rest and refuel between games?” “Pretty much.” He snorts another laugh. “Let me guess,
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“Yep.” He slaps both his thighs as he slowly bends forward and stands. “That explains it.” “Explains what?” “I’m fake married to a Capricorn. It’s my own fault, really. I made this bed of thorns, and now I’m gonna lie in it.” Virgos and Capricorns? I understand now. In my tired state, it took me a moment to translate it in my head. “You believe in the zodiac?” “And you don’t, right? Typical Cappy.”
“Henrik, seriously, what are you doing?” “Showing you my favorite room in the house.” “I swear to god, if you have a red room back here . . .” “What’s a red room?” He snorts. That’s all I get for an answer as I lead him first into my bedroom. Like the rest of the apartment, the walls are white, not red.
Worry is still etched on every line of his face. “She said she was in pain again this morning.” “Which I’ll monitor. Seriously, Henrik. You can go. I promise, she’s in the best of hands. I’m gonna keep things totally chill until you get back. Just a casual schedule of jet-skiing, followed by his-and-hers back tattoos. And if we’re feeling really chill, we’ll go rob a jewelry store. You like opals, right?” He just rolls his eyes, fishing his keys off the hook. “I’m more of an emeralds man.”
I don’t know how to pretend to not be in love with my fake husband. I don’t know how to keep myself from brushing Karro’s hair and singing silly songs to make her laugh. But it’s like I told Henrik the other day, I made this bed, and now I’m gonna lie in it. Or cry in it. Both.
“You men, I swear. Never in my thirty years in the League have I dealt with so many personal revelations on one team. I mean, how does this even happen? How are you all gay?”
FOR FUCKING REAL lmao
“Well, not to be too pedantic here, sir, but Caleb is actually queer, and I’m bi. I’m pretty sure Novy is straight, plus Morrow. And Mars is just . . . well, Mars,” he finishes with a shrug. “And retired,” Caleb adds. “And I’ve been told I have major bi-wife energy,” says Langley, sitting in the only other chair. “Also, my wife is bi . . . if that becomes relevant.” Novy nudges Jake’s arm. “Hey, great use of ‘pedantic’ there, bud.” Jake smiles, glancing up at his husband. “Did I use it right?”
“Well, I’ll just tell you then, shall I? These are letters written in support of Karlsson and O’Connor, detailing their years-long, slow-burning, secret gay romance. Does this sound familiar?” He slips on his cheaters and reads from the first letter. “‘Henrik Karlsson is as gay as the day is long. I always knew he and Teddy would get together.’” “Oh, hey.” Novy perks up, raising his hand. “Coach, that’s mine. I wrote that one.” From the corner of the room, Caleb smirks. “Gay as the day is long? Seriously?” Novy chuckles. “What did you write, asshole? Some emo song lyrics?”
“It’s okay, bud. We’ve got you. You’re a Ray, Karlsson. And Rays flock together . . . or, you know, whatever shit rays do out in the wild.” “School, maybe?” Langley offers. “Swim?” says Jake with a shrug. He turns to Caleb. “Hey babe, what’s the group noun for stingrays?”
Is this what he wants from me? He wants me to score a goal so he can embarrass me with whatever song he picked? Done. Lord knows he’s done enough for me already. Whatever my husband wants, he gets.
I stare right down the lens of Gill’s camera. “Teddy O’Connor is my partner, and that’s all you get to know. That’s all any of you deserve. He’s mine, and I will fight as fiercely for him as I have for every other man on my team. More so, because at the end of the day, my teammates go home to their partners. I go home to Teddy. The only question you get to ask me about him for the rest of my time in this League is how happy he makes me. And my answer will never change: He makes me very happy. Now, someone ask a question that’s actually about hockey.”
As a double Pisces with Leo rising, I was basically hardwired to be an emotional mess.
lmaooooooo
“Hen, this has never once been about me feeling uncomfortable around you. You keep using that word. That’s not it at all. Or if it is a feeling of discomfort, it’s rooted in me being completely, irrationally, and irrevocably in love with you.” I blink. “What?” He frowns. “Oh, did you not want me to go there? We’re having the honest conversation now, right? So let’s fucking have it.”
I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt wanted before. Needed, certainly. Everyone in my life always seems to need something from me. I give and give, offering whatever I can. I would give until there’s nothing left for myself.
“You are so down bad. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so tragic.” “How is that helping?” I try to keep my voice down as the elevator starts to move. “Just talk to him, bro. Next time you see him, tell him, ‘Henrik, my one true love, I wanna know you in the biblical way.’”
“I can’t just go down there. I can’t distract him like that—” “You’ve already distracted him. He’s not gonna be able to think about anything else until you fix this. Dragging it out, waiting till the end of the game, it’s just cruel, Ted. Go to your man. Let him sweep you off your feet.” “But Karro—” “I’ve got the kid. She’ll be fine without you for five minutes. We’ll split a beer and some jalapeño nachos.”
I had to go and invite Colin fucking Holliday to a game. Now the something Henrik is feeling is pain and regret, thinking Colin is here as some kind of date. My god, as if. Colin Holliday? The man eats yogurt with a fork. He wears boot-cut jeans. He thinks Lunchables are an acceptable form of charcuterie. I quite literally would never.
“In my official capacity as President of the WAGs, if I know you intend to break his heart, I’m required by my oath of office to kick your ass.” “No—” My hip hits the sink and I raise both hands in surrender. “Fuck—Mars, stop.” “We can take this outside right now.” He points over his shoulder towards the door. “Caleb will hold your arms for me—” “No,” I all but shout. He holds his glare for another long moment before finally nodding. “Good. Then go back out there and salvage the rest of this miserable evening.”
I don’t want this marriage to only be temporary. Henrik and I have something. I knew it from the moment we met on that sidewalk six years ago. It’s taken time for that spark to grow into a flame. But this last week has taught me to hope like I’ve never really hoped before. And that’s saying a lot, because I’m a delusional double Pisces.
“Motherfucker.” He glares at Henrik, eyes narrowing. “Teddy doesn’t even have the keys, does he? He gave them to you.” Henrik just glares back. “Touch my husband again, and your keys will take up new residence in your colon.”
Strange, because on paper we make no sense. He’s loud and chaotic, always changing his food order. One day he wants banana pancakes stacked with syrup. The next it’s breakfast tacos. And he likes movies that make him cry. He’ll watch them so he can cry. He feels everything at once, all the time, with no filter and no pause button. He ought to drive me crazy. He does drive me crazy. And yet, I can’t seem to get enough. With Teddy, I fear there is no enough.
“If I am the sun, you are the sea.” “What?” “In the story,” he presses, “Icarus is warned not to fly too close to sun or sea. It’s not the sun that kills him, Teddy. It’s the sea. Both are wild and untamed. Both are strong. You’re not a victim of the forces that surround you. You are the force. Depthless, endless, ever reaching. You’re not Icarus. You’re the sea.”
“Eyes on me.” Reaching up, I cup his cheek. “I see you.” “Don’t look away,” he pants. “Never.”
“She’s so far out of my league,” he mutters, gazing off at the poster-clad wall. “Plus, workplace romances, eh? Who needs ’em?” I snort a laugh, helping him into a deeper hip flex. “Uhh, judging by the dynamics of this team? Like, literally everyone. Myself included. I was so head over heels for my workplace crush, I went off and married him. So, careful with that talk, DeGraw, or you might just be next.”
“Tell me about how you two first met.” Teddy is all smiles as he stretches back in his chair. “Do you want to start, or should I?” I pick up my mug of coffee, taking a sip of the lukewarm brew. “I’ll start.” Cheryl looks to me, her fingers poised over her keyboard, ready to type. “The first thing you need to know about Teddy is that he has expensive and terrible taste in coffee.”
“I love you,” he says again. “You know I do. You knew it before I did. Before I could ever form the words, you already knew. I love you as a friend, as a lover, as the partner of my life.” “I hoped you did,” I admit. But he shakes his head. “No. You knew. You know me, mitt hjärta. No one has ever made me feel more seen than you. No matter what comes, we will be together, yes?”
“I was thinking something small.” “For Christmas? What, like a small present?” “No, for the wedding. I was thinking we plan something small. You know, just Karolina, your family, and our close friends.” “Oh, honey.” He lovingly pats my cheek. “That’s why you’re not planning it.”
“What’s wrong?” “Nothing,” Henrik mutters, rising from the bed. At the same time, Karolina shouts, “Morbror is afraid of roller coasters!” I slowly turn to face him, one brow raised. “Seriously?” He crosses his arms, defiant in the face of my surprise. “They’re a safety hazard.” I just shake my head. I did this to myself. I fell in love with a Capricorn and married him. This is my life now. There’s no one else to blame, and there’s definitely no turning back.
I mean what I say: I will love Teddy until the end, until there is nothing left of me but ash. Even then, the proof of our love will remain.
“You want me to change my last name to Karlsson?” He shrugs noncommittally. But I see the heat in his eyes. After five years together, I can read him like a book. He wants this. Desperately. “We’re married,” he reasons. “It’s common practice for people who are married to take each other’s name.” “We are married,” I muse. I wear the rings to prove it. Heck, we did it twice, just to make sure it would really stick.
