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“Hey, Teddy.” He smiles that smile that only reaches his eyes. God, I haven’t seen that smile in six long years. “Good to see you again.” Well, fuck me. Apparently, the love of my life remembers my name.
Novy glares at me. “I think I liked you better as the intern.” I cross my arms. “Right. Well, I think we’re done here—” “No!” He grabs the hem of my T-shirt as I try to back away. “Come on, Doc, please. I’ll be so good for you. I won’t say another word, I swear.” I grimace. “See, it still feels like you’re talking about sex—” “Well, what can I do?” He sits up. “You wanna gag me so I can’t talk? Would that make you more comfortable?” I narrow my eyes. “You hear it, right? When you say the words, you’re hearing it?”
There’s nothing wrong with you, Karlsson. I’m weird because I’m weird, not because you’re weird. You’re perfect, okay? You just be you, and I’ll be me, and we’ll just be weird and awkward together. Sound good?”
And yeah, whatever, I’m on edge. Our perfect nanny made my fake husband oatmeal this morning with freshly cut peaches and a swirl of cinnamon. He doesn’t want my eggs, but he definitely wants her oatmeal. I mean, sure, she made me some too. And it was fucking delicious. But she served Henrik his bowl in Swedish. For all I know, she was complimenting his dick.
“You got a problem there, bud?” “I think it’s just seeing you being so sweet to another person. It sorta feels like watching an alligator play the clarinet.” “It’s unsettling,” Henrik mutters.
I promise, she’s in the best of hands. I’m gonna keep things totally chill until you get back. Just a casual schedule of jet-skiing, followed by his-and-hers back tattoos. And if we’re feeling really chill, we’ll go rob a jewelry store. You like opals, right?”
I help her get settled back against her pile of pillows, resetting her stuffed animals in order of emotional importance. “And you?” I shift her stuffed giraffe to the end of the line. With a name like Mister Sparkles, it’s no wonder he’s practically in exile.
Jake is ready almost as fast. Then we make our way down the hallway towards the press corral. He nudges my shoulder as we walk. “Hey, you good?” “I’m fine.” I know by the look on his face that he doesn’t believe me. “K . . . well, I’ll be right there. Say the word, and I’ll strip my shirt off and bawk like a chicken. That’ll give them something to talk about.”
The only question you get to ask me about him for the rest of my time in this League is how happy he makes me. And my answer will never change: He makes me very happy.
“If y’all got something to say, just go ahead and say it. Don’t hold back now. Spit it out, before Henrik gets in here and you switch to nice mode.” Marcus huffs. “Nice mode, huh? I didn’t know my wife came with a nice mode. Is that only available on one of them newer models?”
“There’s always gonna be someone who needs what you have to offer. But some day, you’re gonna realize that being needed isn’t where true happiness lies. Not for someone like you who loves with his whole heart and soul.” I sigh, searching her face. “What do I do, Mama?” “True happiness for you is only gonna come when you’re wanted, baby. So, you need to ask yourself: Does this family just need you . . . or do they really want you?”
The list just keeps getting longer. I see how hard you work for them. I see how they pull at you, how they need you.” I step in closer, daring him to look away. “But I am not on that fucking list. Do you hear me? Six years ago, yes, you pulled me away from that speeding truck. But that’s the only time you get to save me. Because you’re on my list now. You’re mine, Henrik. And I’ll be damned if I let anyone, my own mother included, make you think you’re not worth saving—”
“How will I know if I can give you everything you want, if you won’t let me try?”
Teddy is the truth I never saw coming. The truth that I could want more from life, deserve more. But I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to open myself to another in this way. I don’t know how to want someone. Christ knows I don’t know how to be wanted.
He tastes so good, like power, and strength, and raw fucking passion. “What are we doing?” he groans against my lips. “Flying too close to the sun.” I kiss him again, never wanting to stop.
Did Henrik Karlsson just spread his knees and say, “Come here”? There are a lot of ways I can play this. I could rise to my feet and saunter over like Billy the Kid. Or I could pounce like the needy puppy I am, curl up in his lap, and beg him to hold me.
I still feel like that lanky kid who tripped over my shoelaces and fumbled with ice packs. Going out to dinner with ‘the guys’ feels a little like sitting at the big kids’ table. Am I crazy?” “I think you’re giving Novikov entirely too much credit.”
With a huff, I stare into her Barbie blue eyes. She smiles. “Good. Now, I love that man more than my own life, but he’s not great in a crisis. If he has things his way, he’ll storm into that hospital, parking his truck in the dang lobby. He is not to be given those keys, do you hear me? You’re the only one on staff I can trust not to give in to his demands.” “This is bullshit.” “You are the solid rock, Teddy. Lukas is the wave that will crash upon you. And yet, you will remain unmoved.” “Unbelievable,” I mutter.
“What, Ted?” I clear my throat. “I need you to calmly get your things and come with me. Please.” “What? Why?” “I can’t tell you that.” His eyes narrow. “Why not, Ted?” I swallow, taking a step back. “Because I don’t want you to hit me.”
“He called you my boyfriend.” I fight a growl, my grip on his wrist tightening. “We’re not boys, and you’re not my friend. You are mine, Henrik. Flesh of my flesh, and bone of my bone. I mean to pass through this life as your other half.” He nods, his smile tender and beautiful as a fucking sunrise. “Two halves made whole.”
But there’s something I’ve learned sharing my life with Poppy and Cole.” Apparently, I’m now accepting life advice from Lukas Novikov. “What have you learned?” “The gift isn’t that they can keep up with us,” he explains. “It’s not?” He shakes his head. “Nope. The gift is that they’re the only thing in this life we wanna run to . . . not from. So run to him, Karlsson. Whatever else happens, never stop.”
“I know that you only came into my life for Karolina. I’m asking you to stay in it for me. Not because I want your help with Karro. I don’t want your massages or your smoothies or your interior decorating skills either.” He fights a nervous smile. “Okay, so I think you’re trying to be sweet right now, but to me that just sounds like a whole lot of rejection . . .” I chuckle, brushing his cheek with my thumb. “I’m trying to say that you’re enough. Badly, apparently.”
A Karlsson has worn this as a wedding ring for over one hundred years. It was my mother’s. She gifted it to Teddy, the man who is my heart’s fire, mate of my soul . . . Those were her words, correct?” he adds at me with a teasing smile. It’s all I can do to nod, tears ready to brim over. “I’ve kept it safe for you, mitt hjärta. You told me to wait and give it to a partner I love, cherish, and adore.” He holds it out to me. “Will you take it now? Take it, like you’ve taken my heart.”
I know more now. I know the rhythm of your breathing when you sleep. I know the catch of your breath when you hear something that surprises you. I know the furrow of your brow when you don’t get your way. I think I could chart the pattern of the freckles on your cheeks with my eyes closed. They’re more precious to me now than the stars in the sky. They are the constellation that guides me home. To you.
At their heart, each of these books are about love and acceptance.
