With You (Without You #2)

by Marley Valentine

There’s a reason we don’t have eyes on the backs of our heads, because we can’t look back. We can’t change the past, we can only live in the moment. Here and now. Him and me.

“I hadn’t really felt love before you,” I continue. “Not in that all-consuming way.” Pulling my hands away from his, I raise them to his cheeks, cupping his jaw. “And you consume me, Julian. My whole world is you, and there isn’t a single thing about that I want to change.”

“Falling in love with you…” Deacon shakes his head. “I never saw it coming. I never saw you coming. But there you were, so open and honest and vulnerable, all the things that were so foreign to me; all the reasons that made me want to stay. In your orbit, in your life. Once I had you by my side, there was nowhere else in this world I wanted to be.”

“On paper we are nothing more than roadblock after roadblock after roadblock. But in reality?” I watch a smile filled with confidence and adoration stretch across his face, despite his unshed tears. “In reality, loving you is living.”

“Your love has healed me, Julian. And I want to spend the rest of my life saying thank you.”

“I want to love you, the way you deserve, till my dying breath. Every minute of every hour, of every day, I promise to make you feel my love.”

“I promise to love you when it’s quiet and love you when it’s loud. I promise to love you in the light and in the dark. When you need me and even when you don’t.”

“There aren’t enough words in the English language to convey just how grateful I am for you choosing me, for loving me and allowing me to love you.” I bring our interlaced hands to my lips and kiss his fingers. “You continue to be the steady rhythm of my heartbeat. You are worthy and you are special, and I’ve never been more grateful to call someone mine.”

“I love you, Deacon. You own me,” I choke out. “My heart is yours till the day you say you don’t want it anymore.” And just like all those years ago, Deacon shakes his head, face streaked with tears. Stepping closer to me, he raises his hands to cradle my face. “Never,” he says hoarsely. “I will never not want you.”

I live for him, and not in a he’s-the-only-reason-I’m-alive way but that everything I do is for him, to make him feel cherished and wanted and loved. Me on my knees, vowing to love and worship him. “This…” Despite my arousal, my voice is laced with so much emotion, it almost feels hard to breathe. “This is where I want to start and end every day. With you.”

“I love being so wrapped up in you that your heart beats for us and my lungs breathe for us. There is no beginning and no end, there’s just you and me.”

“I know where you belong.” Kiss. “You know where I belong“ Kiss. “Rhett knows where you belong.” Kiss. “You’re my heart.” Kiss. “My world.” Kiss. “My love.” Kiss. “Mine.”

“You bought us gloves.” Julian’s correct observation steals my attention. Pushing his chair out, he leaps into my arms, giving me only a fraction of a second to catch him. I hold him against me as he whispers over and over, “You bought us gloves.” “The weather is getting colder, and you’re due for some new ones,”

“You bought us gloves,” he repeats. “For Reese and Rowan and Me.” Looking around the room, I see how Rowan and Reese watch us with intense concentration, always curious about the life we lived before them. “You’re my family,” I tell him. “And I buy my family gloves.”