Misfortune and Mr. Right (Only Magic in the Building)

by Savannah Scott

They spoke the same fantastical language of the heart. Kindreds, as Anne Shirley would have called them.

The usual hum of conversation resumes after Darwin, Lydia, and Lord Voldemort leave the room.

“Those arms, wheweee. And that hair,” Suze says. “And he can wear a shirt, am I right?” “Everyone’s wearing shirts,” I say, waving my hand around the room. “Not like him,” Chandra adds, unhelpfully. Then she must see my irrepressible grimace, because she adds, “But in a very creepy, ugly, evil way. He’s hot until he opens his mouth, I’m sure.”

I’m halfway way home when I realize I never even told Megan about Logan’s reappearance, like a vampire who just won’t die. And I’m not talking Edward Cullen. If he showed up, I’d actually put some thought into what I wear to work. No. This is more of the Dracula version of vampires. Maybe I ought to start wearing a garlic necklace to work.

Rhett stands and plops down right on top of my feet, exhaling with a snuffly snort and farting in the process. “Rhett!” Gil shouts. “Sure,” Maisy teases. “Blame it on the dog.”

“You have to eat the cookie!” Lynette exclaims. “Otherwise, the fortune won’t come true.” “That’s a myth,” Megan says. “No. I’ve heard it more than once,” Lynette defends, as if repeated nonsense holds more weight somehow.

Then he smiles at me. A rare smile, like the sun breaking through. And I have no SPF.

I’m talking to myself now. Is that a sign of mental instability?

I can tell I’m scowling. My face feels like my forehead is trying to descend to my nose.

He sounds so pompous. Like he’s the one outside the door while I’m stuck in here. Which he obviously is. But that doesn’t make him better than me, just because he’s not locked in a closet at this moment.

Olivia Pennington is coming to my apartment. And it’s not so she can suffocate me in my sleep.

I’m dipping my feet in concrete and keeping them firmly anchored in reality.

Oh. My. Gosh. I kissed Logan. Logan kissed me. We kissed. I kissed Logan freaking Alexander. I did that. And, oh man, oh man, he kissed me.

And this”—Charlie motions to my face and then the rest of my body—“is not a good look on you.”