Carpe Jugulum (Discworld, #23; Witches, #6)

by Terry Pratchett

“What meat is there to eat, in a desert?” “Um, none, I think.” “So he didn’t exactly refuse to eat it, did he?”

I always thought Agnes asked the wrong question here. How much FISH is available in a desert?

That fire wasn’t laid for you to light!

Toom me couple of reads to get that.

“You won’t be able to turn her into a vampire!” she said, ignoring him. “She won’t be able to help it,” said the Count. “It’s in the blood, if we choose to put it there.” “She’ll resist.” “That would be worth seeing.”

Oh, I hope the Count remembers this conversation later on.

“Oh, but I couldn’t be having with that!”

Ah. The first crack.

“Do we have any . . . tea?” he said.

OMG I just remembered the joke someone, probably Nanny Ogg, told about Granny.

People have to kill their own vampires.”

That isn't what's going to happen, though.

I was in the blood, Count. In the blood. I ain’t been vampired. You’ve been Weatherwaxed.

Of all Granny's victories, I consider this her cleverest and most satisfying.