Sin and Redemption

by Cora Reilly

She barely glanced my way as she rushed toward Sara. The moment Sara saw her mother, her face crumpled, and she let out a sob that seemed to be torn from the depths of her soul.

Goose bumps raised the hairs on my arms, and I clutched the door handle even tighter, glad for its solid nature.

The sobs and cries leaving Sara’s body stirred up emotions in me that I was unequipped to handle.

Seeing Sara’s anguish, I realized how much I, too, had been looking forward to becoming a father.

Liliana began cry...

I backed away without a word and closed the door, leavin...

I picked up my phone and called Amo. “Can we do some sparring?” “Now?” he asked confused. “Yes.”

Amo’s brows snapped together when he saw me in the changing room.

“What happened?” Was it that obvious? I stared up at my best friend from my position on the bench.

“Sara lost th...

Amo sat beside me, concern in his eyes as he pat...

“Fuck. I’m sorry, ...

Amo tilted his head, his eyes narrowed in thought. Sara was his cousin. Of course, he was worried about her well-being too.

“I’m fine. Let’s do some sparring. I need to move my body.”

How’s Sara doing? Should I come home?

We’re on the way to our place. Sara wants to spend a few days with her family until she’s come to terms with the situation.

The moment I parked in the driveway on my parents’ property, the door swung open, and Mom came rushing out.

I’d thought she’d still be at work in Gianna’s gym. To be honest, I’d hoped she was. Her emotionality might trigger emotions in me I had no intention of experiencing.

She hugged me ...

Excited barks and yowls sounded from the dogs in their cages. Mom had closed the screen door so Bacon and the other house dogs wer...

“Who told you?” I asked quietly...

“She called me to make sure I was there for you when you arri...

“I’m so sorry, Max. I can’t believe how much you and Sara have to go through. It’s not fair. Not fair at all. Yesterda...

“Yesterday was many things but not a day of joy, and today only confirmed what I’d k...

building something good on a rotten foundation will en...

“One horrible incident won’t determine Sara’s and your future. You two will have a beautiful family o...

“We can’t have a family because there’s no way Sara will ever want to be with me.”

“We have soil drills,” Dad grumbled when he joined me in the late afternoon.

She quickly realized that her concern annoyed me and had gone in to cook a hearty comfort meal.

gaze. His amber eyes searched my face, curious, but not filled with overwhelming concern or even pity. Dad wasn’t an emotional man, not even during torture. I was glad for his stoic calm now.

“Then we’ll use the pickax. Hand me one,” Dad said as he rolled up the sleeves of his thermal jacket, revealing his many tattoos.

“There was a point in my life when I thought nothing good would ever happen. Then I was given your mother. Fuck. I didn’t deserve her. I probably still don’t, but I knew she was my only shot at happiness. It wasn’t easy. The circumstances were shitty, and your mom probably shouldn’t have forgiven me, but she did, and I count my blessings every day.”

“Indeed. You had no choice in what happened. I chose to be a bad person.”

“Mom loves you. You love Mom. Sara and I don’t know each other enough for any real feelings. Unless you count contempt, which I’m sure she’s feeling for me.”

“The only connection Sara and I had died in her womb. So don’t tell me what I can or can’t do.”

“You are a Trevisan, and I know you won’t give up, even if you can’t see it now.”

No tiny feet would fill the space with their sounds, no bubbly baby laughter. Nothing but oppressing silence.

“Oh Sara, love. I wish I could take this pain from you. It’s one I’d hoped you’d never experience. I know how crushing it is.”

“Have you experienced it?”

“Twice, one at seven weeks, one at ...

I considered all the times I’d wished I wasn’t pregnant from a horrible event and how often I’d worried that the baby would remind me of what happened.

What if the baby had felt so unwanted it had simply perished?

“Oh, Sara, please don’t think you are to blame. Our thoughts can’t end a viable pregnancy. Nothing you did led to this. Absolutely nothing.”

“Now that it’s over, I realize just how much I wanted this baby and already cared for it.”

“This was a bad idea,” Mom said when she saw me clutching an old stuffed bear that played a lullaby.

this pain. It’ll be a part of me now. I better get used to it.”

He only regarded me with a blank face for a couple of heartbeats before he turned his attention back to the street and drove off.

“I’m sorry,” I said when we pulled into a parking spot in front of the townhouse after about a minute in the car.

“Are you happy?”

mouth opened, but he didn’t say anything, utter shock on his face.