Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

So, no, Bash, the grump whose dark, heavy brows are tugged down tight with an adorable little wrinkle at the top of his nose, does not put me off at all.

“Oh, tonight? Tonight is just our meet-cute. It’s the night we’ll tell our kids about one day. Remember?”

To the outside observer, it would appear that I’m staring at the guy I showed up here with. But they would be wrong. I’m staring at his dad.

Go look at something purple, Clyde teased yesterday. And all I could think was, I can’t. Not when everything purple reminds me of Gwen’s unusual eye color.

It’s been a year, and try as I might, I can’t shake her. Or what could have been.

Nothing happened between us, and yet her mere presence eats me up inside.

Sure, Bash and I are mostly strangers, but I can tell he’s all bark and no bite. I grew up with bite. And this? This isn’t it. This is stern on the outside and soft on the inside.

“Well, we’re all constantly changing. Evolving. Growing. I don’t know a single person who is the same as they once were. I know I’m not. And how boring to just…know who you are and think there’s nothing more out there for the rest of your life.”

We connected. We had that spark. The one you can’t force. The kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. And the worst part is, we both know it.

“You know what’s complicated?” Tabby’s head rolls toward me. “Life. Life is complicated. And short. Gwen, life is too damn short not to wade through all the complications.

“Why do you have to be tied down? I tend to think the right person would be happy to go on those adventures with you.

“Careful what you wish for, Gwen. I’ve got a laundry list of ways I’d like to watch you work for it, and none of them involve poker.”

“The thing is, Gwen, next time you want to watch me, you should just ask.”

I’m damned if I do, and damned if I don’t.” Then let’s be damned together

All the best things in life are complicated.”

So anyway, enjoy your life while you’ve got it. That’s what I say. Tomorrow is never promised.”

“It’s not complicated. You look at her like she hung the moon, and she’s the only woman in the world who finds your shitty attitude to be endearing.”

When I close my eyes and try to envision you, I see a frown floating in the abyss. Except when you’re around Gwen.

“My head’s been in the gutter since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

All I can see is her. All I can feel is her. All I can taste is her. I’m fucking drowning in her and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Making Sebastian Rousseau—Mr. Always in Control—fall apart is my crowning achievement.

I was used to keeping everything to myself, second-guessing everyone around me, never trusting a single soul. And then, you meet that one person who makes you want to break out of your shell. Who it’s worth taking those risks for. Who…without them, you’d stay on the same miserable path. Never improving, never changing, never becoming a better version of yourself.”

“Sometimes when you’re paralyzed like that, it’s not because you don’t know what to do. It’s because you know exactly what to do. You know what’s right, but it scares you. It’s not indecision. It’s being grown-up enough to know that the world doesn’t revolve around you. There’s so much in there at play.”

The truth is, I’d follow her anywhere. If she runs, I run too.