Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

“But, Bash, what if you live?” Her question echoes in my head as her warm palm molds to mine. I feel her pulse. It thrums through my body. Hell, maybe I even feel the earth beneath my feet a little differently. All I know is that the first thing that comes to mind is, If I live, I’m coming after you.

My eyes narrow, and now it’s my turn to cross my arms and look down my nose at him. Suspicious. “Are you in pain?” “Me? No. I’m on more drugs than I’ve taken in my entire life. I can’t even feel my face.” I suspected before, but the truth of it dawns on me at once. At best, he’s stirring the pot. And at worst, he’s trying to play matchmaker. “You’re being a little shit-disturber, aren’t you?” The man’s lips twitch, and he waves me off. “I’m just a frail old man, not long for this world. Let me get my kicks in where I can.” I shake my head at him in disbelief and he peeks my way with a wink. “Plus, his shit could use a little disturbing.”

Lmao

“Ah,” Clyde drawls, as though understanding is dawning on him in some grand fashion. Then, he grins at me in the mirror, and I just know he’s about to toss a grenade and metaphorically run away giggling.

Bash: I don’t want to be in his bunker then. Gwen: You can come get eaten by a zombie with me. Bash: What? Gwen: In all those zombie movies and shows, I will never understand those people’s obsession with staying alive. For what? Living in a zombie world where everything sucks and all is lost? No, sir. Not for me. Peace out, bitches. It’s been a slice. On to the next.

Lol YUP

“I’m sick of your company. You’re extremely negative, you know?” He turns and glares at me over his shoulder. “Allergic to fun these days. It’s like living with Eeyore.”

Not as good as she and I would be.

But it’s so much more than that. It’s the realization that she’s everything I want.

“Coming right up. What my girl wants, she gets.” The term slips so easily from my tongue that I don’t even have the time to prevent it. My eyes flit to hers, to see if there’s any negative reaction there. Instead, I find her watching me curiously, head slightly tilted as though I’m a puzzle she can’t figure out.

Gwen’s gaze flashes over his shoulder to meet mine. I hold it, letting her see that even though he’s here, I’m not leaving this time. I can’t. Walking away almost killed me before. Now, I feel more desperate than ever for her to see me. It’s true—I don’t want to get hurt. But nothing would hurt more than missing my chance with Gwen.

I’ve never known a man with a heart so big. And I think that’s the thing I love about him the most. Love.

“Sorry, concentrating is hard right now. Have you heard of competence porn? It’s kind of my thing. And you, Bash, are extremely competent.”

“This is…” My eyes trace his features, just like they did that first night we met. Masculine. That’s what I’d thought then. Perfect, is all I can think now. The smattering of gray hair at his temple, the strong ridge of his nose. But it’s more than that. It’s him knowing me. Knowing I don’t want roses. Or diamonds. I want this. Adventures. With him.

It was only one night, but in an endless sea of nights that were only ever numb, she made me feel something. And that feeling has never left me. I’ve clung to it almost desperately. A beacon of light that has kept me swimming through rough waters. And only recently have I really had to grapple with the fact that I have no intention of letting that feeling go. Of letting her go.

I shoot him a sultry wink. “Gotta keep you coming back for more.” He sobers for a beat. “I’m never going to get enough. I can promise you that much. I’ll always be coming back to you.”

He grounds me. I breathe him in. I breathe my anxiety out. I breathe him in. I breathe my doubt out. I breathe him in. I breathe my fears out. Because with Bash at my side, nothing feels as terrifying.