Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

The man steps forward, grumbling something that sounds an awful like that motherfucker is going to owe me as he reaches a shaky hand for the pen on the counter.

“Are you two related?” I blurt, entertained by the grumpy-man face-off. “Fuck no,” Bash mutters, but Clyde lets out a high-pitched giggle, like he’s amused by the other man. “Sometimes it feels like we are, though, doesn’t it, Bash?” “In the sense that I wish I could get rid of you, but I can’t? Yes. Yes, it does.” My lips twitch.

Clyde nods. “Oh, you’re right. His crown chakra is fucked.” Bash glares at his friend. “Why are you pretending you know anything about the crown chakra?” “Gwen told me about the chakras yesterday. She said one has to do with enlightenment. And you are certainly not acting very enlightened.” I blink while Bash scowls.

Yes, Clyde pays me for my time, but if he stopped, I’d continue to show up. Hell, I’ve even offered to do it for free, which, in hindsight, I think offended him. He’d hobbled away and come back with a handful of cash, shoving it at me brusquely. Then he looked me straight in the eye and told me to never work for free. To never sell myself short or question my value.

“You just might be the most thoughtful asshole I know. Cheers, to you and that big soft black heart of yours!

He shrugs. “Sure. I don’t want you sitting there staring at me all the time. You’ll annoy me.”

“Quit gawking at his ass,” Clyde whispers, making me snap my gaze away. “I’m not. I’m looking at his back.” He giggles. This grizzled old man giggles. Like a little girl.

Of course, I accidentally forgot some of the less healthy items and replaced them with more nutritious options. Clyde grumbled about it when I returned, but I just told him, “We’re taking good care of this kidney because no one else likes you enough to give you one.” He rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched. Funny, ornery old man that he is.

wave a hand casually. “We got stuck in an airport overnight together over a year ago.” West gasps. “Wait, she’s that girl? Didn’t you get her number?” My stomach drops hard and fast. I never told West that story. “How do you know that?” “Clyde told me.” Fucking Clyde.

My molars grind, and I get lost in her eyes for a beat. It would be so easy. It would be so worth it. “God. I really should not want you this badly,” I finally confess, all my jumbled, inebriated, complicated feelings floating to the surface.

“She told me. We talk and don’t just make googly eyes at each other from across the room.” I slouch back, already regretting bringing this up with him. “Or make out on the back deck.”

I’m standing there making “googly eyes” at her, as Clyde had called it, when he appears in the doorway. He takes one look at the food laid out and then pulls up a seat beside Gwen. “I wish Bash were in love with me. Then maybe he’d make me nice breakfasts too.”

“Wow,” I sigh. Because no other word seems to do this view justice. “This is beautiful.” “Yeah. It is,” Bash agrees. But when I turn back to face him, he’s not looking out the window. He’s looking at me.

“Huh,” Clyde says. “I wonder where he could have gotten that from.”

Clyde stares at him with a look of wonder on his face. “Damn,” he announces, jabbing his fork in Bash’s direction. “If she doesn’t marry you after this, I might.” He gets a laugh from me and a groan from Bash.

The front door shuts behind her, and she calls out, “I’m home!” Next, I hear Clyde yell, “That lovesick fool is waiting for you on the back deck.”