Wild Card

by Elsie Silver

When life gives you lemons…” It squeezes the acid right in your fucking eyes.

Am I using alcohol as a coping mechanism today? Yes. Do I care? No.

“The fuck did you just say to her?” Bash’s voice is cold as ice from across the table.

Yesss bash cloxk it

“Gwen told me about the chakras yesterday. She said one has to do with enlightenment. And you are certainly not acting very enlightened.”

HAHA I LOVE CLYDE

“You say Savasana, I say nap,” he tosses over his shoulder as he marches back into the studio.

Hes a queen

You’re more depressing than I am, even though I’m the one who’s dying. Surprised you’re not offering me both kidneys with how goddamn emo you’ve been lately.”

HAHAAAA

“Stop crying, Gwen. I can’t stand it. Everything is fine.”

Clyde needed to check into the hospital early for surgery prep and couldn’t be here tonight. But tomorrow morning I fully intend to tell him that everyone gave a toast for Crazy Clyde—I think he’ll get a real kick out of that.

Im actually terrified hes gonna die

“Are you in pain?” “Me? No. I’m on more drugs than I’ve taken in my entire life. I can’t even feel my face.” I suspected before, but the truth of it dawns on me at once. At best, he’s stirring the pot. And at worst, he’s trying to play matchmaker. “You’re being a little shit-disturber, aren’t you?” The man’s lips twitch, and he waves me off. “I’m just a frail old man, not long for this world. Let me get my kicks in where I can.” I shake my head at him in disbelief and he peeks my way with a wink. “Plus, his shit could use a little disturbing.”

I literally love him somuch

I mean, I haven’t told him that. But I gave him my fucking kidney. What more does he want? A tattoo across my forehead?

“So it’s like how he’s being generally not nice to you in an attempt to be kind to his son?”

i hope to be this much of a shit stirrer when i’m old

My upper body is still built and heavy from hard labor, but it’s not toned like it once was. Like Tripp’s would be.

ummmm im gonna pretend u didnt just say that and move on

A smile quirks my lips. Fucking Clyde. Total cockblocker.

oh he totally knew what he was doing

With every word he says, my agitation builds. Partly because I’m realizing that my son might be a bit of a douchebag. And partly because, even if he is a douchebag I sure as hell can’t pursue Gwen after hearing all this.

me too girl

I can’t fathom what it’s like to possess his level of confidence and nonchalance.

literally me with any man

The more he talks, the more agitated I become.

SAME

You know what?” I snarl, yanking her toward me, staring at her plush mouth as her lips softly part—no doubt to say something infuriating. But I don’t let her get a word in edgewise. “Fuck it,” I mutter. Then I kiss her.

YASSS

“That he was a fool to let you get away. But that it was just as well because I could fuck you better.”

ummmm i don’t think i like this like sir that is ur son ur talking abt rn

And Clyde just leans back in his chair, shaking his head with an amused smirk on his face. Yeah, he’s getting far too much enjoyment out of this.

me too dude

Fucking Clyde. “You’re not supposed to be this snoopy.” He scrubs a hand over his wiry, gray stubble. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just that I’m invested. I worked really hard to get you both under one roof.”

HAha hes so real for that tho

All the best things in life are complicated.”

“I’ve been playing matchmaker for months with you two. Don’t squander it! And don’t be a chump and forget to buy her a present!”

She’s fucking breathtaking. And the fact that she didn’t roll out of my bed is downright criminal.

I’m standing there making “googly eyes” at her, as Clyde had called it, when he appears in the doorway. He takes one look at the food laid out and then pulls up a seat beside Gwen. “I wish Bash were in love with me. Then maybe he’d make me nice breakfasts too.”

I LOVE HIM HES SUCH AN ICON

Dread creeps up my throat as I flick the dead bolt and pull the door open. Then I come face-to-face with Tripp.

Girlypop why r u here again

She grimaces but reaches for the bag. From behind her Clyde mouths, I hate him. My lips flatten to keep from mouthing Same.

CCLOCK IT CLYDEE

Fucking Clyde is like a dog with a bone right now. I shoot him a grim smile, inclining my head in his direction as though to say, Yep, now drop it. But Clyde, being Clyde, does not in fact drop it.

he’s my spirit animal

“Huh,” Clyde says. “I wonder where he could have gotten that from.”

HAHAAA

His voice drops to a growl. “It’s driving me fucking crazy, knowing he’s had you.”

again…that’s ur kid

When I got a one-word answer, never has a person overthought the word yup so thoroughly.

i’m pretty sure i have

I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been times when the thought of her with Tripp hasn’t kept me up, driven me to distraction, and made me jealous. And yet, it strikes me now that she’s giving me something far more precious than what she had with him.

ummmm

“I’m always in your corner, Gwen. You ever need a pick-me-up? I’m your guy.”

“Oh, well, how cute for you, Gwen. Bouncing from dick to dick, ticking off the family tree like a shopping li⁠—”

it’s giving belly

“Oh boy,” Clyde grumbles. “Trouble in paradise. I’m getting the fuck out of here.” He moves past me with a slap on the shoulder and then disappears down the hallway.

HA real

“I don’t know. Things didn’t sound fine from where I was hiding in my bedroom. Gwen laid you out, boy.” I roll my eyes. Fucking Clyde, always spying on us.

as he should

“You’re a fucking wild card. Unpredictable and never what I expect. You scare the hell out of me every damn day. But today more than any of them. Because I thought I lost you.” His voice cracks. So does my heart. “And I love you, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to tell you.”

“You’re my limes, Bash. I’m the tequila. You and me? We’re gonna spend the rest of our lives making margaritas, okay?”

My wild card. My tequila. My everything.