Later, after disseminating the photograph of his fateful squid, Harvey mused, apparently second-guessing his drive to bring the beast to the world, “Am I a dog that I should do this thing?”
Once again: Thank goodness for my editor, and for her sense of restraint (as restraint, for me, during the writing process, is almost always overwhelmed by excitability). In between this particular Moses Harvey quote, and the next short segment beginning “Says Tepoztetecatl,” were, in a previous draft, about another 40 pages (which rightfully ended up on the cutting room floor). What was in those 40 pages? Oh, my. Well: an ultra-long meditation on myth-making as filtered through a childhood memory wherein my parents, during the first couple years of home ownership and strapped for cash, took in a boarder named Susan. I was only four years-old then, but I clearly remember Susan: She was beautiful, in an elfish sort of way—large mahogany eyes, large ears, short brown hair. I remember hanging out with her in her room, on a tall bed with orange and blue sheets, talking and talking. She always wore large hoop earrings through which I would snake my four-year-old fingers, pulling just gently enough to watch her lobes droop, then snap back into place. How I would marvel at the elasticity! She stayed with us for about six months, I think, and then was gone. I don’t remember saying goodbye to her. One day she was there, and the next, she was not, the bed empty, soon to be sold for ten bucks at some garage sale. Much later, when I was in my early 30s, I asked my parents if they knew what became of Susan. They laughed and wrinkled their foreheads, confused. They told me they never took in a boarder at all. That I had imagined the whole thing. It’s since became a joke at the holidays, my parents and sister asking me: Have you talked to the boarder lately? Do you have any memories that you can swear were actual, but others have told you were merely imaginary; invented? If so, how did this make you feel? Do you believe them? What role do such memories still play in your life and what do they mean to you?
