Dream On

by Jennifer Hartmann

“Eventually, you’ll realize there are no good days. There are just days, nights, and all the monotonous bullshit in between.”

But dreams aren’t always rainbows and sunny skies. Sometimes they clash with your worst nightmare.

“Anyway, I know what it’s like to lose love. Sometimes by death, sometimes by choice. Either way, the hardest part is that the love still lingers, even after that person is gone. You can’t escape it. You have nowhere to put it. So you just let it fill you up with all these hopeless feelings and memories, and it weighs you down. And it hurts.”

But deep down, I know we’re not the same. I’m afraid I won’t wake up. Lex is afraid he will.

I love cold weather: hoodies, beanies, snuggly socks, and fireplace warmth. Give me snowflakes over summer sweat any day.

There’s something else, something that cracks my heart into a million pieces and tapes it back together at the same time. Sitting inside the cupholder is a giant cup of iced coffee.

Our eyes meet for a stopped breath, and we hold, something passing between us, something that sneaks inside my soul and rots it from the inside out. I’ve lost her. No more piano chords to mend my restless heart. No more rooftops, hand-holding, or catnaps beneath her walnut tree. No more comfort. No more music. In this moment, it’s clear—she’ll never sing to me again.

“Change is good when the circumstances are shit,”

I think, sometimes, love isn’t always in the ones who stick around. It’s in the missing pieces—the holes carved out, the gaps that strain and stretch. You notice when it leaves, the quiet, empty moments where absence lingers, and you feel the weight of what’s gone. It’s in the spaces where something used to be, in the silence that follows, in the ache that reminds you it was once there.

sometimes the dreams we give up make way for dreams we never knew we wanted.”

But when you really break it down, I think that’s what life is all about. Feeling. Feeling everything: joy, heartbreak, grief, loss, friendship, and passion. Feelings aren’t a burden, no matter how much they hurt. They’re a privilege. To feel is life’s greatest honor. And I know now, the source of all of it…is love.

“That’s what love is. It’s the ups and downs. The in-betweens. The dark, the ugly, the beautiful, the surreal. It’s in both the perfect melodies and the off-key notes. The hardships make us stronger. Braver. That’s how love grows.”