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“Oh really?” he says, stepping up. “So when you asked me to pick you up pads with wings, did I not deliver?” My face falls flat. “You came back with pads…and buffalo wings.” “That’s what you said, pads with wings.”
“Bologna, bologna, bologna.” “No!” he screeches, holding his hands to his ears. “Don’t you dare Beetlejuice me. Don’t you fucking dare.” He glances over his back, checking around the room. “Is it here? Is he here?” I point off to the window and yell, “There he is.” Wilder lets out an ear-splitting scream and then falls to the ground and shimmies under the coffee table. “You devil woman.”
“Is that a hint of horseradish I’m detecting?” Wilder asks as we chow down on our lunch. “A homemade sauce,” Sanders says with a nod. “Really brings out the roast beef flavor, don’t you think, Pips?” “Delightful.” I lift my bag of chips to Wilder. “Barbecue?” “Yeah, thanks, babe.”
“So I have to take interest in her love of cacti, but she can’t bother to learn the correct Pokémon names?” He sits up. “It’s Jigglypuff. For fuck’s sake, it’s Jigglypuff!” “No…one…cares.” “Everyone cares,” he shouts, his voice cracking.
“We did everything right. You need to stop worrying so much.” “I was born into this world worrying,” she says. “I don’t know any other way of living.”
“I want to feel like I’m the most important thing in your life. I want to come home from work to find you excited to see me. I want you to want to kiss me. Hug me. Touch me other than when it’s for sex.” Her eyes lift to mine. “I want to know that if I were to walk out that door, walk away from this relationship, that you would know it was the biggest mistake of your life.”
